


My family, a Biography

by DancerInTheRain



Series: My Family, a Biography [1]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Breaking the Fourth Wall, Crack Fic, M/M, Rated teen for language and slight sexual humour, i dont even know what's going on, i have no explanation, idk man, may not ever update HAHAHA, started as a joke but now i just cant stop, v lighthearted tbh HAHAHA
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-08
Updated: 2018-03-17
Packaged: 2019-01-10 14:12:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 19,969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12300783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DancerInTheRain/pseuds/DancerInTheRain
Summary: Jeonghan and Seungcheol need to work on their communication ("I can't fucking stand the way you always think you're the right one. This isn't 'The Price is Right' bitch, not everything you say is correct.")Mingyu needs to chill when he texts Wonwoo ("You messaged me 'c00l jeans c00l beans' 5 times in a row.")Junhui needs to step up his flirting game to impress Minghao ("If you're going to send me a picture of your face everyday saying pickup lines to yourself, you ain't getting far")BooSeokSoon like to speak in unison (and frankly, it creeps everyone out)Jihoon hates people who can't decipher the difference between "ur" and "ure"Vernon can't type properly and would probably be the death of everyoneChan could be in a secret cultJoshua just likes to do whatever he wants to do.You know, just your traditional family setting, right?





	1. The Sky

**Author's Note:**

> man,,,,, i dont even know what i was on when i wrote this

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **scoops** : ……
> 
>  **Angel** : unnecessary ellipses don’t mean anything Seungcheol
> 
>  **Memegyu** : whoop he got told
> 
>  **weewoo** : this is a mess
> 
>  **Chinese Prince** : like your relationship?
> 
>  **Memegyu** : OH SHIT HE GOT TOLD
> 
>  **weewoo** : he’s talking about us
> 
>  **Memegyu** : oh
> 
>  **Memegyu** : then we got told
> 
>  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Scoops: Seungcheol  
> Angel: Jeonghan  
> Certified american: Joshua  
> Chinese prince: Jun  
> Hurricane: Soonyoung  
> Weewoo: Wonwoo  
> Smol: Jihoon  
> Idk: Seokmin  
> Memegyu: Mingyu  
> Dab8: Minghao  
> High Quality: Seungkwan  
> Only 17: Vernon  
> Dinosaur: Chan

**Hurricane created one (1) chat: My Family**  
**Hurricane added Chinese Prince and 11 others to the chat**

 **Hurricane** : WHAT IS UP EVERYBODY

 **Idk** : WHAT IS UP

 **Hurricane** : WHAT IS UP 

**High Quality** : WHAT IS UP 

**Hurricane** : WHAT IS UP 

**Chinese Prince** : the sky 

**Chinese Prince** : are we done here

 **Smol** : can it be done here

 **Certified american** : aw come on let the kids have their fun

 **Scoops** : WHAT IS UP

 **Angel** : now we can stop

 **Scoops** : ……

 **Angel** : unnecessary ellipses don’t mean anything Seungcheol

 **Memegyu** : whoop he got told

 **Weewoo** : this is a mess

 **Chinese Prince** : like your relationship?

 **Memegyu** : OH SHIT HE GOT TOLD

 **Weewoo** : he’s talking about us

 **Memegyu** : oh

 **Memegyu** : then we got told

 **Only 17** : d03s 4ny0n3 w4nn4 ch1ll w1+h m3 4+ s+4rbucks???????

 **Dinosaur** : what the fuc

 **Certified american** : Chan! 

**Dinosaur** : what the (insert bad word here)

 **Certified american** : I don’t think that that is much better 

**Dab8** : well this was a waste of time

 **Chinese Prince** : how can it be a waste of time if im here :):):)

 **Dab8** : even bigger waste of time

 **Chinese Prince** : D: 

**Dab8** : never trust guys without noses i swear

 **Smol** : are you speaking from experience

 **Dab8** : okay 

**Dab8** : stop 

**High Quality** : yeah vernon ill come 

**Idk** : SO WILL I 

**Hurricane** : SO WILL I 

**Scoops** : you guys actually understood what he was saying????

 **Idk** : no

 **High Quality** : no

 **Hurricane** : no

 **Smol** : you guys are like some weird triplets who say everything at the same time

 **Idk** : no we arnt

 **Hurricane** : no we arnt

 **High Quality** : no we arnt

 **Memegyu** : you all even had the same typo

 **Only 17** : y3sssssss

 **Angel** : it’s too late for this bullshit im going to sleep

 **Chinese Prince** : ,,,,,it’s 4pm

 **Angel** : your point?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> man,,,,, i don't even know what i was thinking when i wrote this


	2. Straight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Hurricane** : is that for a cult
> 
>  **Hurricane** : SHIT BRB GONNA HIDE FOREVER
> 
>  **Dinosaur** : ?
> 
>  **Scoops** : why
> 
>  **Hurricane** : im young and im a virgin
> 
>  **Hurricane** : my blood is golden
> 
>  **Smol** : “young and a virgin”
> 
>  **Smol** : untrue and very sad
> 
>  **Scoops** : jihoon arent u a virgin too
> 
>  **Smol** : go to sleep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i... i have no words

**My Family**

**Certified american** : Is anyone free to accompany me to church this afternoon?

 **Chinese Prince** : not if u keep talking like that lol

 **Dab8** : bam

 **Dab8** : joshu got roasted

 **Memegyu** : LIKE A POTATO H A 

**Dab8** : never reply to anything i say

 **Dab8** : like ever again

 **Memegyu** : D:

 **Dinosaur** : can someone come over to help me light this candle???????????????? idk how to light it im scared ill get burnt or some shit

 **Certified american** : I’m guessing that there is really no point in trying to correct you.

 **Scoops** : chan ur like 18 cant u just light a candle

 **Smol** : *ure

 **Smol** : if you must use short forms, use the right ones smh

 **Angel** : shut up cheollie chan is like 4 ill come over sweetie

 **Dinosaur** : great thanks hyung i have 6 candles to light up so

 **Hurricane** : is that for a cult

 **Hurricane** : SHIT BRB GONNA HIDE FOREVER

 **Dinosaur** : ?

 **Scoops** : why

 **Hurricane** : im young and im a virgin

 **Hurricane** : my blood is golden

 **Smol** : “young and a virgin”

 **Smol** : untrue and very sad

 **Scoops** : jihoon arent u a virgin too

 **Smol** : -

 **Smol** : go to sleep 

**Scoops** : ……….

 **Only 17** :1m t1r3d 

**Hurricane** :VERNON 

**Idk** : VERNON

 **High Quality** : VERNON

 **Only 17** : w0t m8s

 **Hurricane** : hi :-)

 **Idk** : hi :-)

 **High Quality** : hi :-)

 **Chinese Prince** : this shit is actually terrifying

 **Weewoo** : josh why do you suddenly need someone to go with you to church?

 **Certified american** : Melanie can’t make it today :-(

 **Memegyu** : WHO IS MELANIE O H MY GO DYFDFTHTHDHGDFYHDF

 **Dab8** : isnt melanie like

 **Dab8** : the old ass lady from down the street from campus

 **Certified american** : Don’t call her an ass! She’s really nice!

 **Angel** : k josh we get it *ure straight

 **Angel** : wait how old is she

 **Dab8** : like 90

 **Scoops** : josh you have a weird preference for women

 **Scoops** : but we still respect you

 **Certified american** : Oh dear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what drugs am i on that i had to write the 2nd chapter and update it


	3. c00l beans c00l jeans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Smol** : ??????
> 
>  **Smol** : so is gyu mad or ,,,?
> 
>  **Hurricane** : i don’t think so 
> 
> **Hurricane** :i think that he is just
> 
>  **Idk** : trying to trick jun hyung in a playful way that he is upset but
> 
>  **High Quality** : in actual fact he is not
> 
>  **Memegyu** : correctoooooo
> 
>  **Idk** : good job guys :D
> 
>  **Hurricane** : :D
> 
>  **High Quality** : :D
> 
>  **Weewoo** : again, 
> 
> **Weewoo** : super creepy

**My Family**

**Memegyu** : help

 **Memegyu** : what do i doooooooooo???????

 **Memegyu** : im in so much trouble

 **Chinese Prince** : you know it baby ;)

 **Weewoo** : what the actual fuck jun

 **Dinosaur** : jun hyung r u alright

 **Smol** : this took such a sharp turn i think i just got whiplash

 **Chinese Prince** : FUCK FUCK FUCK UNSEND UNS E N D U N S E ND 

**Certified american** : Junhui, please don't ever send anything personal like that to the chat. It makes everything uncomfortable.

 **Certified american** : Please, never again.

 **Chinese Prince** : I DIDNT I DIDNT I SWEAR I OPENED THE WRONG CHAT DUYRFHRYFYRYHDGFVYTHGRFVYTHD

 **Chinese Prince** : IDON T LIKE MINGYU S YHTDDGFHGD

 **Memegyu** : D:

 **Weewoo** : what’s wrong with mingyu?

 **Chinese Prince** : OH MY GO D N O 

**Memegyu** : jun hyung ure mean :’(

 **Chinese Prince** : MINGYU NO I DIDNT MEAN IT LIKE THAT

 **Memegyu** : yeah i know :D

 **Smol** : ??????

 **Smol** : so is gyu mad or ,,,?

 **Hurricane** : i don’t think so 

**Hurricane** :i think that he is just

 **Idk** : trying to trick jun hyung in a playful way 

**High Quality** : that he is upset

 **Idk** : good job guys :D

 **Hurricane** : :D

 **High Quality** : :D

 **Weewoo** : again, 

**Weewoo** : super creepy 

**Angel** : r my babies hurt i felt a tingle of hurt in my heart

 **Scoops** : ur just getting old lol thats heartburn

 **Smol** : *ure

 **Angel** : hmm maybe...

 **Scoops** : :)

 **Angel** : you should sleep on the couch tonight motherfucker im kicking u out of the bed bitch 

**Scoops** : :(

 **Certified american** : Anyway, Mingyu, what’s wrong?

 **Memegyu** : oh yeah i forgot lol

 **Memegyu** : i just sent a risky text to wonwoo hyung and forgot he was in here and panicked for a bit 

**Weewoo** : ….

 **Weewoo** : you sent me “c00l beans, c00l jeans” 5 times in a row

 **Dab8** : AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH C00L BEANS C00L JEANS AHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

**Weewoo’s name has been changed to _C00l beans C00l jeans_ by Dab8**

**C00l beans C00l jeans** : oh dear

 **Chinese Prince** : THE8 !!

 **Chinese prince** : ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

 **Dab8** : what the fuck 

**Dab8 has muted the chat**

**Chinese Prince** : no

 **Only 17** : lol get rekt

 **Only 17** : *l0l g3+ r3k+

 **Smol** : huh

 **Smol** : i never knew you could type semi-properly

 **Only 17** : i c4n+


	4. texting target

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Memegyu** : stay away from his guitar, itll mess u up reAL BAD
> 
>  **Dab8** : yeah mingyu we know thats from experience
> 
>  **Dab8** : look how you turned out
> 
>  **Memegyu** : oh mah gawd DX
> 
>  **Dab8** : when will you leave 2013 gdi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a little more 95 line action??? nothing dirty tho, they're all just huge messes

**My Family**

**Smol** : greetings loved ones

 **Dab8** : what the fuck

 **Dinosaur** : that isnt jihoon hyung 

**Dinosaur** : im like 83% sure

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : what is going on

 **Only 17** : wh4+

 **Smol** : i love u all lol

 **Smol** : im stooooooopid lolololololol

 **Chinese Prince** : whoever the fuck is on his phone better get off it real quick

 **Chinese Prince** : run and protect your ~ vital organs ~

 **Angel** : ew the fuck 

**Memegyu** : stay away from his guitar, itll mess u up reAL BAD

 **Dab8** : yeah mingyu we know thats from experience

 **Dab8** : look how you turned out

 **Memegyu** : oh mah gawd DX

 **Dab8** : when will you leave 2013 gdi

 **Smol** : im stoOOOOoOooOoOOoooooOOOOOopid and i like to yell :(;(:(;9:9

 **Hurricane** : hehehehehehhehehehehehe yes u do 

**Idk** : hehehehehhehehehe thats true

 **High Quality** : hehehehehehhehehe ure correct

 **Scoops** : i swear to whoever is listening

 **Scoops** : if its u 3 who r playing with jihoon’s phone

 **Scoops** : pray for the preservation of your memory and dont let him near a guitar or any large and heavy object

 **Smol** : logging out bYE EYEYEBYEBYBEYBEBYEBYBEY

 **Certified American** : All three of you are in huge trouble with him. 

**Certified American** : I suggest you run fast and far. 

**Dino** : anyway whatever it wasnt me so jdghdgfhgvhv hyungs u r all dead hehe

 **Only 17** : l0l

 **Scoops** : ????????

 **Angel** : oh dear my children dont fuck ur faces up 

**C00l beans C00l jeans** : the BooSeokSoon trio have struck again

 **Idk** : we neversaid it was us :):)

 **High Quality** : yeah :):)

 **Hurricane** : :):)

**Hurricane’s name has been changed to _Dead #1_ by Chinese Prince**

**Idk’s name has been changed to _Dead #2_ by Chinese Prince ******

******High Quality’s name has been changed to _Dead #3_ by Dab8** ** **

**Chinese Prince** : awwwwwwwwwwwwwww minghaoooooooo ❤️❤️ 

**Dab8** : you were just too slow 

**Chinese Prince** : whatever you say love ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ 

********

**Certified American** : I see Jihoon picking his phone up. 

**Angel** : oh dear children

 **Scoops** : ready?

 **Scoops** : 3

 **Scoops** : 2

 **Scoops** : 1

 **Smol** : WHO

 **Smol** : THE FUCK

 **Smol** : TEXTED MY TARGET ON MY PHONE AND ORDERED ADULT DIAPERS

 **Smol** : ONCE I FIND OUT WHO YOU ARE

 **Smol** : YOU ARE SO FUCKING DEAD 

**Hurricane** : wait

 **Idk** : wait

 **High Quality** : wait

 **Chinese Prince** : wait

 **Angel** : now you too jun ?????

 **Chinese Prince** : u can text target?????

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whywhywhydididothisfourtimes


	5. Golfing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Dab8** : the fuck 
> 
> **Dab8** : u play golf ?????
> 
>  **Chinese Prince** : oh dear minghao my love 
> 
> **Chinese Prince** : i do and i enjoy it a lot
> 
>  **Dab8** : count me in then u gotta teach me tho 
> 
> **Scoops** : who the hell are you and what did you do to our minghao ???????
> 
>  **Dab8** : im actually going to stab you with a rusty spoon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh dear what have i done

**My Family**

**Chinese Prince** : anyone up for a game of golf ??

 **Dab8** : the fuck 

**Dab8** : u play golf ?????

 **Chinese Prince** : oh dear minghao my love 

**Chinese Prince** : i do and i enjoy it a lot

 **Dab8** : count me in then u gotta teach me tho 

**Scoops** : who the hell are you and what did you do to our minghao ???????

 **Dab8** : im actually going to stab you with a rusty spoon

 **Chinese Prince** : MINGHAOS COMING W ME SO NO ONE ELSE IS ALLOWED TO COME ANYMORE

 **Chinese Prince** : ONLY THE TWO OF US

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : why does this chat always turn really gay after a while 

**Angel** : what do u mean by TURN gay 

**Certified American** : Wonwoo, you’re gay. 

**C00l beans C00l jeans** : you know what nvm 

**Memegyu** : wait wonwoo

 **Memegyu** : ure gay ???????????

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : gyu we’re dating

 **Memegyu** : oh yeah sorry forgot

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : it’s okay gyu

 **Dinosaur** : i love their relationship

 **Dinosaur** : mingyu hyung could say something so fucking stupid

 **Dinosaur** : and wonwoo hyung is so chill about it its so cute

 **Only 17** : 1 th1nk 1t5 w31rd,,,,,,,,,,

 **Dinosaur** : literally -6 people understand you 

**Dead #3** : i understand him

 **Dinosaur** : make that -5

 **Angel** : anyways

 **Angel** : arent you guys in class or smt

 **Dead #3** : yes

 **Dead #3** : yes

 **Dead #3** : yes

 **Scoops** : why did you send that 3 times ????????

 **Dead #3** : oh bc both soonyoung hyungs and seokmin hyungs phones got confiscated by the teacher lololololololol

 **Dead #3** : theyre both typing on my phone

 **Angel** : the f u c k 

**Certified American** : Where’s Jihoon? I haven’t heard from him in a while. 

**Dead #3** : we ordered adult diapers from his phone on tuesday for a REASON jisoo -SOONYOUNG

 **Dead #3** : *jisoo hyung

 **Certified American** : I don’t really understand. 

**Chinese Prince** : the fact that you type in full sentences and correct grammar and shit and sentence structure makes me mad

 **Chinese Prince** : ill quote shakespeare 

**Chinese Prince** : “stop” -shakespeare

 **Certified American** : I think “stop” during Shakespeare’s time was said as “halt”, so you’re probably wrong. 

**Certified American** : But, it’s Thursday, and he hasn’t even come online, let alone talk on this chat for four days. Is everything alright? Does anyone know?

 **Dab8** : stop worrying hes probs in his studio sleepin rn bc he stayed up all night cancelling his 50 orders of diapers and making some swag ass music

 **Certified American** : Go back to playing golf. -_-

 **Scoops** : actually he wasnt in the studio last night 

**Scoops** : i went there this morn and literally no one was there and none of his shit was there either

 **Scoops** : where on earth is lee jihoon ???????

 **Angel** : i thought i saw him leave the house at 4 in the morning but i might b wrong lmao

 **Scoops** : babe why were u awake at 4 in the morning

 **Angel** : i sleep a lot in the day im awake at night

 **Angel** : dont control me

 **Scoops** : i was gonna say without me but ok

 **Dead #3** : he came to my room late at night on tuesday and said smthng but i cant remember when or what he said soz -seokmin

 **Chinese Prince** : ??????????

 **Dab8** : where is he 

**Dinosaur** : maybe hes like a spy or smt 

**High Quality** : i dunno this all seems super scary tf -kwan

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : i just called him

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : no answer

 **Dead #3** : what is goING ON -SEOKMIN

 **Memegyu** : oh dear what happened to him

 **Memegyu** : im kinda scared now,,,,

 **Angel** : everyone meet at mine 

**Angel** : we need to find him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this is my attempt of adding in some drama ysvdcuytsrfes


	6. Give me a nickname

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Scoops** : what kinda nickname do u want ?????
> 
>  **Only 17** : ch3ck 0u+ my m1x+4p3 0n s0undcl0ud n0w
> 
>  **Handsome** : i will not be called “ch3ck 0u+ my m1x+4p3 0n s0undcl0ud n0w”
> 
>  **Scoops** : why not angel tho it was cute 
> 
> **Handsome** : im not dead bitch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a whole jeongcheol centric chapter, i'd say

**My Family**

**Angel** : lee jihoon u absolute fucker i fucking hate u 

**Smol** : i just wanted it to be a surprise…..

 **Chinese Prince** : doesnt make u a non fucker m8

 **Smol** : the fuck 

**Dab8** : hyung inside that 164cm of “toughness” u are a softie

 **Dab8** : how endearing 

**Dead #1** : WHAT HAPPENED WE DIDNT HAVE OUR PHONES FOR LIKE TWO DAYS AND COULDNT RELY ON KWAN TO TELL US ANYTGING

 **Dead #3** : YOURE PAINTING ME IN A BAD LIGHT

 **Dead #1** : no one would willingly paint u 

**Dead #1** : <3 seungkwan 

**Dead #2** : OOOO SHOWDOWN 

**Dead #2** : BUT WHAT HAPPENED TO HYUNG WHAT HAPPENED HFYVF

 **Dab8** : basically hyung wrote a song for us for christmas or whatever and tried to hide it 

**C00l beans C00l jeans** : jihoon why did you have to hide it to the extent that you had to run away from home and not respond to any of our messages

 **Scoops** : hoon ur so extra lolololol

 **Smol** : *ure

 **Smol** : and shut up 

**Smol** : u all ruined the secret so no more songs for you guys 

**Memegyu** : I WANT THE SONG CAN I HAVE THE SONG

 **Smol** : whatever

 **Memegyu** : FUCK Y E S 

**Angel** : not 2 b irrelevant or wtv

 **Certified American** : You’re always irrelevant, but go on. 

**Memegyu** : JISOO HYUNG SN A P P E D 

**Angel** : brb changing my screen name

**Angel’s name has been changed to _Handsome_ by Angel**

**Dead #3** : hyung that’s 

**Dead #2** : actually so 

**Dead #1** : boring 

**Handsome** : shut up this is just a filler

 **Handsome** : anyway does everyone agree with me that seuncheol should have come up with a better cute nickname for me

 **Dab8** : who the fuck is seuncheol

 **Chinese Prince** : hyuNG hes seeing someone else behind ur back 

**Scoops** : stfu

 **Handsome** : dont expose me

 **Dab8** : o h 

**Handsome** : hennyways

 **Handsome** : he should have come up with a better nickname for me right ?????

 **Handsome** : angel is so ~ cliche ~ 

**Scoops** : i didnt come up w it you did you just started calling yourself angel and expected me to call u that as well lololol

 **Handsome** : the fuck did you say bitch 

**Scoops** : i love you

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : i dont think you need a better nickname angel is fine ?

 **Handsome** : shut up c00l beans c00l jeans

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : okay it was cute when he sent it

 **Dead #2** : whipped

 **Dead #3** : whipped

 **Dab8** : where is soonyoung hyung when we need him

 **Dead #1** : IM HERE

 **Dead #1** : *whipped

 **Dinosaur** : for once i agree with the three of them 

**Dinosaur** : u r one whipped hyung 

**Smol** : lol woo youre so gay for mingyu

 **Memegyu** : i hope he is

 **Memegyu** : otherwise we have a Huge problem

 **Handsome** : BACK TO ME BITCHES 

**Scoops** : what kinda nickname do u want ?????

 **Only 17** : ch3ck 0u+ my m1x+4p3 0n s0undcl0ud n0w

 **Handsome** : i will not be called “ch3ck 0u+ my m1x+4p3 0n s0undcl0ud n0w”

 **Scoops** : why not angel tho it was cute 

**Handsome** : im not dead bitch 

**Scoops** : does anyone have any suggestions ?????????

 **Certified American** : You could go with the traditional “baby”. 

**Chinese Prince** : bae 

**Dinosaur** : princess or prince

 **Scoops** : UHHHHH

 **Handsome** : dont call me baby unless u wanna be a pedophile 

**Smol** : literally jun

 **Smol** : bae ???? really ??? i thought u were better than this

 **Only 17** : not is that nickname totally overused and cringey, jeonghan hyung is also not a small part of the ocean where the land curves inwards

 **Dab8** : did vernon just type properly for once ?

 **Certified American** : This is so surreal. Am I dreaming?

 **Chinese Prince** : i never thought this day would come 

**Only 17** : ,,,,,ch3ck 0u+ my m1x+4p3 0n s0undcl0ud n0w

 **Handsome** : dont call me bae thats for sure

 **Handsome** :dont you dare call me princess or prince

 **Handsome** : i am a king 

**Scoops** : …..oh my god…..

 **Handsome** : call me king jeonghan 

**Handsome** : you will be my slave now

 **Chinese Prince** : ooooh hyung what kinda slave will he be ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **Handsome** : a slave that does my taxes 

**Memegyu** : :o THE WORST TYPE OF SLAVE

 **Scoops** : jisoos christ help me now please

 **Certified American** : Nothing I can do to save you. 

**Certified American** : You’re on your own. 

**Certified American** : lol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dont worry guys, as much as jeonghan teases seungcheol, he still loves him A LOT !! han doesnt mean for his teasing to hurt seungcheol, and seungcheol knows this and loves him all the same :,) so dont misinterpret okay !! also, i realised that i leave vernon out q a bit, should i have a vernon centric chapter as well? and a meanie one? and a booseoksoon one? who else am i missing out? tell me in the comments!! thank you for reading !!


	7. V3rn0n St0ps T4lk1ng L1k3 Th1s

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **King Han** : see?
> 
>  **King Han** : shows off your sensitive AND manly side 
> 
> **Scoops** : thats a lot less aggressive than when he first asked me out but ok
> 
>  **King Han** : im a dual threat 
> 
> **Smol** : no ure just a threat 
> 
> **King Han** : OKAY LISTEN HERE ILL SHOW YOU A REAL THREAT BITCH

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is a lot more lighthearted and fluffy and actually a lil bit longer than usual :,) it's probably the best chapter ive written so far ~~bc the rest of it is all shit~~ BUT i hope you all enjoy this one !!

**My Family**

**Dead #2** : can someone change our names to something else

 **Dead #3** : we dont like being dead 

**Dead #1** : :(

 **Dead #2** : :(

 **Dead #3** : :(

**Dead #1’s name has been changed to _LOBSTER_ by King Han**

**Dead #2’s name has been changed to _YELLS_ by King Han**

**Dead #1’s name has been changed to _KIMBAP_ by Scoops**

**Scoops** : look at our dynamics :,)

 **King Han** : who asked you

 **King Han** : i love you

 **Scoops** : i love you too

 **Only 17** : speaking of lobe 

**C00l beans C00l jeans** : lobe ?????

 **Only 17** : whateva 

**Smol** : i am SO GLAD that he came to his senses and stopped typing weirdly 

**Only 17** : do u want me to go back 0r ,,,,,,

 **Smol** : NO PLEASE DONT

 **Certified American** : Please go on.

 **Only 17** : how do u lik 

**Only 17** : u kno ,,,,,,,,,, 

**Scoops** : oh god we have to do the talk

 **King Han** : IM NOT READY FJVNDNBMDMV

 **Chinese Prince** : hansol you are one wild kid 

**Chinese Prince** : fav dongsaeng

 **YELLS** : what 

**Memegyu** : what

 **Dab8** : what

 **KIMBAP** : what

 **Dinosaur** : what

 **Only 17** : whateva

 **Chinese Prince** : i take it back minghao is my fav dongsaeng 

**Memegyu** : noted with thanks

 **Dab8** : (no)ted with (thanks)

 **Only 17** : i dont mean like sex 

**Only 17** : i mean,,,, how do u ,,,,,,,, sext someone

 **Dinosaur** : OH MY 

**Certified American** : Excuse my language, but what the FUCK HANSOL 

**Dinosaur** : IS JOSH OKAU WHATTHEFUCK

 **Only 17** : JOSH WHATF FKKV

 **Certified American** : VERNON WHATF FKKV

 **Dab8** : WHAT TEH FUCJ IS HAPPENIBG 

**Certified American** : WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO SEXT SOMEONE!?!?!?!?!??!?!

 **Only 17** : IM EXPERIMENTING 

**Memegyu** : SHUA HYUNG CALM DOWN

 **Certified American** : I AM VERY SORRY I AM JUST VERY OVERWHELMED

 **Only 17** : DEAR GOD DJFJJRKGKFKVJKFKGMGM

 **Chinese Prince** : step aside bitches this is my field of expertise 

**Chinese Prince** : what seems to be the issue boi

 **Dinosaur** : can u guys private message or smt ,,,??

 **Chinese Prince** : no

 **Only 17** : so i like this person

 **Only 17** : and i wanna impress him 

**LOBSTER** : SO ITS A GUY

 **Memegyu** : hyung we’re all gay

 **Scoops** : cept shua

 **Certified American** : Debatable. 

**Scoops** : WHA SY

 **Certified American** : Back to Vernon, please. 

**Only 17** : ya ok

 **Only 17** : and like my only way of flirting is lame pickup lines

 **Chinese Prince** : so do u wanna flirt or sext ???????

 **Only 17** : theyre the same lol

 **Only 17** : right?????

 **Smol** : this explains a LOT 

**Only 17** : oh

 **Only 17** : well whateva i guess i wanna flirt and make him fall in love with me 

**Chinese Prince** : open ur ears boi bc ure gonna get the best advice on flirting ever 

**Chinese Prince** : instead of sending pickup lines or BORING words

 **Chinese Prince** : send hot pics of yourself in various angles and positions 

**Chinese Prince** : for you i suggest a nicely taken photo of you NOT A SELCA but a nice photo of just you 

**Chinese Prince** : that would be wonderful

 **Chinese Prince** : can be suggestive if u want, but dont overdo it

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : junhui he is a kid

 **Only 17** : IM LEGAL i think

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : nop

 **YELLS** : hehe nop

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : this advice junhui is giving you is absolute bullshit

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : 1. he’s barely legal 

**C00l beans C00l jeans** : 2. look at him trying to pick minghao up

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : obvs not working 

**Dab8** : i agree w that 

**Chinese Prince** : YOU GUYS ARE SO MEAN 

**C00l beans C00l jeans** : but we still love the flawed you 

**Dab8** : count me out of the love 

**Chinese Prince** : awwwwww

 **Chinese Prince** : wait wut

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : anyway take advice from a guy who’s actually in a relationship

 **Memegyu** : ME AND WONWOO ARE WE ARE THE CUTESTEST COUPLE 

**C00l beans C00l jeans** : pretend he doesnt exist for a bit 

**Only 17** : ok

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : sometimes pickup lines can be really cute

 **Memegyu** : like take wonwoo, my lover, for example

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : ok gyu 

**Memegyu** : i sent him “C00l beans C00l jeans” 5 times in a row

 **Memegyu** : and we’re STILL together :D 

**C00l beans C00l jeans** : yeah sorta like that

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : little jokes here and there are cute and funny and would probably work

 **Only 17** : ok

 **King Han** : listen to none of these fools 

**C00l beans C00l jeans** : ok but why 

**King Han** : u gotta DEMAND love 

**King Han** : like slide into their dms and say something like 

**King Han** : HEY I THINK YOURE REALLY CUTE DO YOU WANNA GO FOR LUNCH SOMETIME BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE NICE 

**King Han** : see?

 **King Han** : shows off your sensitive AND manly side 

**Scoops** : thats a lot less aggressive than when he first asked me out but ok

 **King Han** : im a dual threat 

**Smol** : no ure just a threat 

**King Han** : OKAY LISTEN HERE ILL SHOW YOU A REAL THREAT BITCH 

**Only 17** : so lemme combine all the info rn 

**Only 17** : send a hot pic of myself, put in a cute pickup line and sound manly and sensitive at the same time???

 **KIMBAP** : ye then FOR SURE your crush will LOVE you 

**Only 17** : you think so?

 **KIMBAP** : fo’ sure 

___________________

 **KIMBAP** : [image from _Only 17_ to _KIMBAP_](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1_XE5mpQwKgGS72gYu7irujISxnvt183P/view?usp=sharing)

 **KIMBAP** : im from jeju 

**KIMBAP** : i like you too dumbass

 **YELLS** : OH MY GOBSIGMDMGD

 **LOBSTER** : AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH

 **Smol** : called it

 **Smol** : hao u owe me $$ now 

**Dab8** : pft 

**Dab8** : holup for a bit tho

 **Dab8** : let the kids love for a bit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy ending for verkwan is my fav ending :,)


	8. In with the Real

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Certified American** : I was inappropriate. 
> 
> **Chinese Prince** : fuck appropriateness amiriTE
> 
>  **Certified American** : You obviously didn’t pass your English exam. 
> 
> **Dinosaur** : JISOO HYUNG SNAPPED AGAIN
> 
>  **Chinese Prince** : im chinese 
> 
> **Dinosaur** : and dw hyung, its okay we dont fault u 
> 
> **Dinosaur** : vernon hyung is fucking overwhelming all the time so i understand ur pain lol
> 
>  **Certified American** : Thank you, Chan. That really reassures me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> o well i wrote this at 4 in the morning so it's full of typos and bad grammar sorry HAHAHAHAHAHAH

**My Family**

**Certified American** : Good afternoon everyone.

 **Certified American** : I would like to sincerely apologise for my inappropriate language as of last night. I was just very overwhelmed and my caps lock key got stuck. I hope from the bottom of my heart that an event like this will not happen again. I do feel the consequences of my “wild” actions, as you guys call it. I will strive to be more of the gentleman I am in the near future. I hope that you will all understand. 

**LOBSTER** : why r u apologising

 **Certified American** : Did you not read my message?

 **Chinese Prince** : hyUUUUUUUNNNNGGGGG u dont have to apologise for saying fuck LOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOl why r u even doing it here anyway we r all chill ????

 **Certified American** : I was inappropriate. 

**Chinese Prince** : fuck appropriateness amiriTE

 **Certified American** : You obviously didn’t pass your English exam. 

**Dinosaur** : JISOO HYUNG SNAPPED AGAIN

 **Chinese Prince** : im chinese 

**Dinosaur** : and dw hyung, its okay we dont fault u 

**Dinosaur** : vernon hyung is fucking overwhelming all the time so i understand ur pain lol

 **Certified American** : Thank you, Chan. That really reassures me. 

**Certified American** : Now, let’s stray away from this topic and go and congratulate the newest edition to our family of happy couples!

 **YELLS** : YE A H H H HH H HHH HH VERKWAN 

**Smol** : ver,,,kwan ????

 **LOBSTER** : its a ship name hOONIE

 **Smol** : call me hoonie one more time and that will be the last word u ever say

 **LOBSTER** : HOONIEHOONIEHOONIEHOONIEHOONIE

 **Smol** : SQUARE UP ILL STRANGLE YOU

 **LOBSTER** : CAN YOU EVEN REACH MY NECK

 **King Han** : OH MY GOOD KWON SOONYOUNG HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH

 **King Han** : I APPROVE OF THIS QUALITY BURN AHAHAHHAHA

 **Scoops** : HE PULLED THE HEIGHT CARD HE PULLED THE HEIGHT CARD

 **Chinese Prince** : HIDE YOUR BODIES

 **Smol** : kwon soonyoung watch ur back

 **LOBSTER** : i think you should watch my back bc thats the only part of me that you can see ;)

 **KIMBAP** : thank u all for ur congratulations :-)

 **Dab8** : 2 people congratulated you 

**KIMBAP** : THANK YOU _ALL_ FOR YOUR CONGRATULATIONS

 **Only 17** : hyung u were all soft and messaged me this whole long ass paragraph abt how u were proud of me ,,,,

 **Only 17** : want me to ,,,,,xpose

 **Dab8** : dont u dare bitch

 **Chinese Prince** : awww my haohao is soft 

**Dab8** : never call me your haohao again

 **Chinese Prince** : how about “my boyfriend” 

**Dab8** : um

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : congrats !!

 **Scoops** : CONGRATS KIDDOS

 **King Han** : my kids are growing up so fast :,)

 **Dinosaur** : congratoes

 **Certified American** : Congrats Seungkwan and Vernon!

 **LOBSTER** : CONGRATS MY LOVE

 **YELLS** : CONGRATS MY LOVE 

**KIMBAP** : I LOVE YOU BOTH SO MUCH MUACKSMUACKS

 **YELLS** : MUACKSMUACKS

 **LOBSTER** : MUACKSMUACKS

 **Dinosaur** : this is why i occasionally think theyre a cult

 **Dab8** : i agree

**YELLS has been removed from the chat**

**Scoops** : wtf

 **Scoops** : wus goin on

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : oh gyu just blocked seokmin so he automatically got removed 

**LOBSTER** : N O 

**LOBSTER** : WHY WOULD YOU 

**Memegyu** : i blocked him >:( 

**Chinese Prince** : we get it but why

 **Memegyu** : he made me walk down the stairs of my bedrm and out into the living rm to send him something from my computer 

**Memegyu** : WHICH WAS IN MY LIVING ROOM

 **Memegyu** : BUT HE FOUND IT AND ACTUALLY DIDNT NEED FOR ME TO SEND ANYTHHDBFHCMMCMC

 **King Han** : is that it 

**Memegyu** : dont make me block u too hyuNG 

**Only 17** : hyung why r u so worked up abt this 

**Memegyu** : i had to leave the warm embrace of my wonwoo

 **Memegyu** : I WAS DEPRIVED OF WARM CUDDLES FROM WONWOO FOR NOTH I N G 

**C00l beans C00l jeans** : babe chill it was like 3 minutes

 **Memegyu** : :(

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : unblock seokmin please

 **Memegyu** : but 

**C00l beans C00l jeans** : please baby

 **Memegyu** : okay :'(

 **Memegyu** : only for you

 **LOBSTER** : AND FOR ME TOO

 **LOBSTER** : IM DEPRIVED OF MY LOVE

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : its been like,,, 3 mins 

**Memegyu** : now u understand my pain

 **LOBSTER** : ah i get it

**YELLS has been added back into the chat**

**YELLS** : MINGYU I LOVE YOU IM SORRY FOR THE FALSE ALARM I WILL NEVER DEPRIVE YOU OF WARM CUDDLES OF WONWOO FOR NO REASON EVER AGAIN

 **Memegyu** : SEOKMIN YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU TOO AND I HOPE I AM NEVER DEPRIVED OF WONWOOS CUDDLES AGAIN 

**C00l beans C00l jeans** : why am i always getting dragged into things

 **YELLS** : THANK YOU FOR FORGIVING ME MINGYU sunbaenim

 **Memegyu** : wgat bitvh

 **YELLS** : mingyu sunbaenim

 **Smol** : mingyu sunbaenim

 **King Han** : mingyu sunbaenim

 **Certified American** : mingyu sunbaenim

 **Scoops** : mingyu sunbaenim

**YELLS has been removed from the chat**

**Smol has been removed from the chat**

**King Han has been removed from the chat**

**Certified American has been removed from the chat**

**Scoops has been removed from the chat**

**Memegyu** : in with the real, out with the fake 

**Memegyu** : am i right

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im going to catch some sleep rn bc ive been stayin up writing this and another fic so goodnight at 420am where i am!! hope you guys like this chapter :-) should i have a junhao centric one for the next chapter, or should i just let it slowly establish bc im worried it might seem too rushed


	9. Promise Ring

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **King Han** : i left the chocolates at his place accidentally and totally forgot abt it till like a few days later when i got desperate for food
> 
>  **Dinosaur** : were u that desperate for food that u would eat expired chocolates
> 
>  **King Han** : i was in college what do u expect
> 
>  **Dinosaur** : ah i c

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wrote this chapter so fast i should slow tf down ;;;; also this is a lil filler chapter w the established ships bragging abt their lovers oops its p bad HAHAHAHA but its p vital

**My Family**

**KIMBAP** : YOU GUYS 

**KIMBAP** : HANSOL BOUGHT ME A RING 

**Scoops** : i call being wedding planner

 **King Han** : no bitch im the wedding planner 

**Dab8** : r they even getting married

 **Memegyu** : AW YOU TWO ARE SO CUTE 

**Chinese Prince** : whos getting married ?????

 **Only 17** : omg we arent getting married 

**Only 17’s name has been changed to _Married Man_ by King Han**

**Dinosaur** : now u are

 **KIMBAP** : WE ARE GETTING MAREIED GUYS ITS OFFICIAL 

**LOBSTER** : AAAHHHHHHHHHHH

 **YELLS** : AAAHHHHHHHHHH

 **KIMBAP** : AAAHHHHHHHHHH

 **Dab8** : its been like 3 weeks tf 

**C00l beans C00l jeans** : whats going on 

**Married Man** : i didnt agree to this

 **Certified American** : This is a Whole Mess™. 

**Smol** : wot

 **Smol** : did joshua hyung just type in meme format

 **KIMBAP** : the world has come to an end 

**Dinosaur** : am i dreaming wus goin on 

**Certified American** : What?

 **Certified American** : Isn’t this how you guys speak? 

**King Han** : uh sure

 **Married Man** : kwan and i arent getting married omg !!!!!!

 **Smol** : ok we get it

 **YELLS** : then why did you buy him a ring? :,(

 **LOBSTER** : are you not committed to loving our kwannie? :,(

 **Married Man** : i bought him a promise ring lol so i think im p committed

 **King Han** : AWWWWW A PROMISE RING 

**King Han** : CHEOL CAN YOU GET ME A PROMISE RING ITS BEEN 8 YEARS AND YOU STILL CANT PROMISE ANYTHING 

**Scoops** : i do promise to love you forever and ever :,( 

**King Han** : u still promised to do the dishes last week and you still havent done it

 **Scoops** : oh ye

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : aw hansol a promise ring is so sweet

 **Memegyu** : u guys r so cute :,,,,)

 **Memegyu** : almost as cute as me and wonwoo

 **KIMBAP** : uh wanna bet

 **Memegyu** : WEVE BEEN DATING FOR 3 YEARS YOU GUYS HAVE BEEN DATING FOR 3 WEEKS thats my argument

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : oh baby dont 

**KIMBAP** : WEWILLGETTHERESOON

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : and when you hit your peak mingyu and i will be very proud of both of you 

**Memegyu** : r u speaking for me

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : yes

 **Memegyu** : ok

 **Memegyu** : yknow when we first got tgt

 **Memegyu** : wonwoo wrote me a song :,)

 **LOBSTER** : OMG SJFKSKFKKDKGKCKF

 **YELLS** : THAT IS SO ROMANTIC

 **Memegyu** : and he sang about how he would love me till the day we die and i criED 

**C00l beans C00l jeans** : baby why are you telling everyone abt this 

**Memegyu** : bc i want everyone to know that i love you 

**Dab8** : bleugh

 **LOBSTER** : AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

 **YELLS** : THIS IS SO WHOLESOME TELL ME MORE

 **Smol** : im with minghao

 **King Han** : i wish i could talk abt cheol but all he got me was a box of chocolates and a pop up card that had a bear that yelled BE MINE very loudly whenever i opened it

 **King Han** : i mean it was cute but why 

**Scoops** : i thought the card was cute and i knew the way to a mans heart was thru his stomach

 **King Han** : the chocolates were expired

 **Scoops** : shit i ate them 

**Smol** : why tf did u eat the chocolates if u gave them to him 

**King Han** : i left the chocolates at his place accidentally and totally forgot abt it till like a few days later when i got desperate for food

 **Dinosaur** : were u that desperate for food that u would eat expired chocolates

 **King Han** : i was in college what do u expect

 **Dinosaur** : ah i c 

**King Han** : i still have the card tho 

**Certified American** : Yeah, and whenever I go over, he opens the card and smiles at it very fondly. 

**King Han** : DONST EXPOS E

 **Married Man** : JEONGHAN HYUNG IS A SOFTIE

 **King Han** : NO STOP 

**Scoops** : AWWWWWWW HANNIE THAT IS SO CUTE WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME ABOUT THIS

 **King Han** : YOU STFU 

**Scoops** : :,) i love you too

 **Chinese Prince** : blah blah blah all this love makes me sick 

**Memegyu** : hyung what the hell????

 **Dab8** : wtf

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : junhui are you alright?

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : junhui?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> why is junhui salty ??????? find out in the next chapter :0


	10. Private Message

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Jeon Wonwoo** : dont tell hao this bc i have top secret info from a little insider of mine
> 
>  **Jeon Wonwoo** : this insider tells me that minghao actually brings you up a lot in most convos
> 
>  **Wen Junhui** : is this insider gyu
> 
>  **Jeon Wonwoo** : the one and only ~♡♡

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> are yall ready for prefaced junhao

**My Family**

**Chinese Prince** : hey guys i just wanted to apologise for being so snappy just now

 **Chinese Prince** : i was just in a bad mood and i kno that doesn't rlly cover it but yea im rlly sorry 

**Chinese Prince’s name has been changed to _Chinese Disappointment_ by Chinese Disappointment**

**King Han** : omg junhui youre so dramatic

 **Certified American** : Says you.

 **King Han** : this isnt abt me it's about our junnie 

**Smol** : brb gonna screenshot that so if u ever bring up something irrelevant u will remember

**Smol’s name has been changed to _Stfu_ by King Han**

**Stfu** : k 

**C00l beans C00l jeans** : but no seriously jun whats wrong?

 

**Private Chat with Wonwoo**

 

 **Wen Junhui** : hey uh

 **Wen Junhui** : i dont really wanna talk abt it in the chat so 

**Jeon Wonwoo** : yeah i get it

 **Jeon Wonwoo** : so whats going on? gyu and i are pretty worried about you

 **Wen Junhui** : uhh idk how to say it without getting embarrassed lol

 **Wen Junhui** : yea so you know i like minghao

 **Jeon Wonwoo** : yep

 **Jeon Wonwoo** : wait are u okay with gyu reading this too

 **Wen Junhui** : uh i guess as long as he doesnt tell anything to hao 

**Jeon Wonwoo** : pinky promise :,) -gyugyu

 **Jeon Wonwoo** : go on

 **Wen Junhui** : i thought i liked him but now i think ive caught actual feelings for him

 **Wen Junhui** : theres like a difference yknow??

 **Jeon Wonwoo** : yeah i understand how you feel 

**Wen Junhui** : and ugh

 **Wen Junhui** : the past few weeks have been just really draining for me emotionally

 **Wen Junhui** : like kwan and hansol and jeonghan hyung and cheol hyung professing their love and usjfkmsm

 **Wen Junhui** : kinda shoving it in my face that minghao doesnt like me the way i like him unintentionally yknow ://////

 **Wen Junhui** : not a really nice feeling lol

 **Wen Junhui** : do u have like 

**Wen Junhui** : any advice for me

 **Jeon Wonwoo** : um i dunno

 **Jeon Wonwoo** : i kinda have some things but im scared itll make you feel even worse 

**Wen Junhui** : just word your stuff right

 **Wen Junhui** : i know youre hella good with words and i trust you

 **Jeon Wonwoo** : thanks jun

 **Jeon Wonwoo** : what gyu and i are really curious about is 

**Jeon Wonwoo** : have you ever explicitly told minghao about how you feel 

**Wen Junhui** : not explicitly but ive kinda hinted in like jokes

 **Jeon Wonwoo** : gap number one 

**Jeon Wonwoo** : dont tell hao this bc i have top secret info from a little insider of mine

 **Jeon Wonwoo** : this insider tells me that minghao actually brings you up a lot in most convos

 **Wen Junhui** : is this insider gyu

 **Jeon Wonwoo** : the one and only ~♡♡

 **Jeon Wonwoo** : so basically whenever we talk about something hao alwAYS BRINGS YOU UP !!!!!!!!!

 **Jeon Wonwoo** : like when i suggest going for bingsu with hao and seokmin, hao’s always like yO yOu KnOw jUnhui hYunG likES gReEn TEa BiNGSu and then he goes a little red in the cheeks when we stare at him

 **Jeon Wonwoo** : ITS GETTING SO ANNOYING SEOKMIN AND I WERE GONNA SLAP HIM YESTERDAY BC HE KEPT BRINGING YOU UP SO PLSPLSPLSPSLPSLSPLS I BEG YOU

 **Jeon Wonwoo** : PLE A S E D D. E R E R TALK TO HIM ABT TJIS

 **Jeon Wonwoo** : ITS DRIVING US UP THE WALL OH MY GOD S

 **Wen Junhui** : he does all that?

 **Jeon Wonwoo** : Y EES SS

 **Wen Junhui** : :,)

 **Jeon Wonwoo** : ok im back 

**Jeon Wonwoo** : seriously i think you should talk to him about your feelings

 **Wen Junhui** : yeah i guess i should

 **Jeon Wonwoo** : but

 **Jeon Wonwoo** : you know im more realistic than gyu in a sense 

**Jeon Wonwoo** : im more of a planner

 **Jeon Wonwoo** : and i just wanted to let you know the risk

 **Wen Junhui** : oh 

**Jeon Wonwoo** : worst case scenario, he doesnt feel the same way

 **Jeon Wonwoo** : but i trust that both of you are mature enough to work it out if it happens

 **Jeon Wonwoo** : but based on what gyu said, the worst case scenario sounds unlikely

 **Wen Junhui** : yeah but it might happen

 **Jeon Wonwoo** : no matter what, im always gonna be behind you no matter what

 **Jeon Wonwoo** : you were here with me when gyu and i split for a bit and if it wasnt for you, i wouldnt be next to him right now

 **Jeon Wonwoo** : and im really grateful, wen junhui, and im here to repay the favour

 **Jeon Wonwoo** : go get your man

 **Wen Junhui** : AWWWWW WOOOOOOOOO

 **Wen Junhui** : YOU MADE ME TEAR UP YOURE SUCH A SOFTIE THANK YOU SO MUCH

 **Jeon Wonwoo** : ok too much soft for one day now leave bc gyu is teasing me for being soft now bye leave pls

 **Wen Junhui** : ♡♡♡

 **Jeon Wonwoo** : GO GET YOUR MANS HYUNNNNGGGGGGG -gyugyugyu

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this chapter is a little shorter !! i ried to focus on the wonhui dynamics and gave junhui some advice !! i do try to be the wonwoo in people's lives i try my best ;;;; do you guys want me to include more private messaging things like this in future chapters?


	11. Xu Minghao

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Xu Minghao** : try me 
> 
> **Wen Junhui** : shut up and go to sleep
> 
> **Xu Minghao** : sleep is for the weak
> 
> **Wen Junhui** : sleep is for the week

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you havent caught on from the last chapter, when people private message each other, the name displayed is their real name. only in the groupchat do they have the cute nicknames

**Private Chat with Xu Minghao**

 

**Wen Junhui** : hi minghao

**Xu Minghao** : junhui hyung?

**Xu Minghao** : its like 3am why are you awake

**Wen Junhui** : couldnt sleep

**Xu Minghao** : ah i see

**Wen Junhui** : why arent you sleeping then

**Xu Minghao** : couldnt sleep either 

**Wen Junhui** : i kinda need to talk to you about something

**Xu Minghao** : i actually wanted to tell you something

**Wen Junhui** : oh

**Wen Junhui** : you can go first

**Xu Minghao** : uh no its ok you can 

**Xu Minghao** : i think what we’re gonna tell each other is gonna be connected in some way 

**Wen Junhui** : so do i 

**Wen Junhui** : and if it doesnt i may start crying lol

**Wen Junhui** : okay haha oh well 

**Wen Junhui** : i think ive caught feelings for you

**Wen Junhui** : i think i love you but i dont really know what love is 

**Wen Junhui** : i guess it came from all the playful teasing 

**Wen Junhui** : and it just grew from there

**Wen Junhui** : im so sorry 

**Xu Minghao** : sorry?

**Xu Minghao** : why are you sorry?

**Wen Junhui** : uh idk i just feel like i need to apologise haha

**Xu Minghao** : that ‘haha’ sounded very nervous

**Wen Junhui** : i am very nervous xu minghao

**Xu Minghao** : yea i can tell 

**Xu Minghao** : i mean

**Xu Minghao** : i think i have feelings for you too

**Xu Minghao** : but i dunno yet

**Xu Minghao** : i think i just need to think about it for a bit 

**Wen Junhui** : YEAH OF COURSE OF COURSE

**Wen Junhui** : sorry, caps lock got stuck

**Xu Minghao** : sure ;)

**Wen Junhui** : im really sorry for springing this up on you haohao

**Wen Junhui** : i dont wanna put any pressure on you 

**Wen Junhui** : just text me when youre ready and i promise i will be okay either way

**Wen Junhui** : goodnight haohao

**Xu Minghao** : hyung 

**Wen Junhui** : yea?

**Xu Minghao** : could you talk to me for a little longer

**Wen Junhui** : okay 

 

**My Family**

 

**YELLS** : how do whales breathe 

**LOBSTER** : thru their blowholes min

**YELLS** : thats a weird name for a dick hyung 

**LOBSTER** : OMG SDDTYVUYVDHFYTHRD

**Stfu** : seokmin thats not how dicks work

**Stfu** :why r yall up its 334am 

**YELLS** : i think the real question is 

**LOBSTER** : why are YOU up 

**LOBSTER** : ??????

**YELLS** : ??????

**KIMBAP** : ??????

**KIMBAP** : i only came here to type that now im going back to sleep

**Stfu** : ok????

**YELLS** : why R u awake hyung

**Stfu** : music stuff 

**YELLS** : i keep messaging minghao but he keeps reading my message but not replying 

**YELLS** : hes online tho 

**LOBSTER** : ye so is junnie but he isnt answering either

**LOBSTER** : is junnie in his room hoonie??

**LOBSTER** : hoon??????

**YELLS** : i guess he left 

**LOBSTER** : just you and me then 

**YELLS** : ᕙ(▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿) ᕗ

**LOBSTER** : ᕙ(▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿) ᕗ

**YELLS** : why do you think both junhui hyung and minghao are up but not responding 

**LOBSTER** : idk lol

**YELLS** : oh whale

**LOBSTER** : whale

**YELLS** : whale 

 

**Private Message with Xu Minghao**

 

**Xu Minghao** : and yeah so thats how i almost got my hand stuck in a blender

**Wen Junhui** : xu minghao you are so wild

**Xu Minghao** : yeah i get that a lot 

**Wen Junhui** : but its late now 

**Wen Junhui** : its almost 5 am haohao you should sleep

**Wen Junhui** : i dont wanna keep you from sleeping and resting well hao

**Wen Junhui** : goodnight

**Xu Minghao** : i like you too

**Xu Minghao** : i have feelings for you too

**Wen Junhui** : hao

**Wen Junhui** : you dont have to say that if you dont really mean it 

**Wen Junhui** : we can talk about this in the morning

**Xu Minghao** : who says i dont mean it

**Xu Minghao** : i think ive been trying to avoid being in touch with my feelings for too long, and now that i think about it, i do have feelings for you 

**Wen Junhui** : are they nice feelings

**Xu Minghao** : they are very nice feelings 

**Wen Junhui** : i guess we’re dating now then 

**Wen Junhui** : we got together over text

**Wen Junhui** : im so ashamed

**Xu Minghao** : ill break up with you right now 

**Wen Junhui** : NONONONO 

**Wen Junhui** : it’s just my first time asking someone to be my boyfriend over text lol

**Xu Minghao** : my first time being asked online

**Wen Junhui** : :,) im honoured to be your first

**Xu Minghao** : so am i 

**Xu Minghao** : i actually want to keep us on the downlow in the chat tho

**Xu Minghao** : seungkwan and hansol just got together

**Xu Minghao** : dont wanna burst their bubble too soon

**Xu Minghao** : is that okay?

**Wen Junhui** : yeah so do i 

**Wen Junhui** : tell me when youre ready, yeah?

**Xu Minghao** : of course junnie

**Wen Junhui** : also im calling you haohao now there are no exceptions thats the rule of being my boyfriend

**Xu Minghao** : sorry brb i need to google how to break up with someone

**Wen Junhui** : NO 

**Wen Junhui** : YOU CALL ME JUNNIE

**Xu Minghao** : k fine

**Wen Junhui** : btw what were you going to tell me before

**Wen Junhui** : like you said you had something to tell me

**Xu Minghao** : i was just gonna say i finished your yoghurt 

**Xu Minghao** : and i was so confused when you said you were going to cry if it wasnt the same topic and i was like ???? does he feel this much over his yoghurt

**Wen Junhui** : ok i love my yoghurt even tho youre my boyfriend now dont cross me bitch

**Xu Minghao** : try me 

**Wen Junhui** : shut up and go to sleep

**Xu Minghao** : sleep is for the weak

**Wen Junhui** : sleep is for the week

**Wen Junhui** : goodnight haohao

**Xu Minghao** : goodnight junnie

**Xu Minghao** : i think i love you 

**Wen Junhui** : i think i love you too

 

**Private Message with Jeon Wonwoo**

 

**Wen Junhui** : guess who just got even gayer bitch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAAHHHHHHHHHHH JUN H A O MY BAB I E S SS S S S S


	12. Love ??? Who is She??

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Memegyu** : AW OUR CHANNIE IS IN LOVE 
> 
> **Dinosaur** : love ???? idk her ??? who is she ???
> 
>  **Dab8** : what if love doesnt wanna be a ‘she’
> 
>  **Dab8** : did u just assume the gender of love
> 
>  **Dinosaur** : yes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sbiwhdsgfhgacv oh dear this is a mess like my life but please please pLEASEEEE read the end notes !!

**My Family**

 

 **King Han** : why is this chat so dead after junhui was all cryptic

 **Chinese Disappointment** : look man i was having a Hard time

 **King Han** : so you were in bed 

**Scoops** : hannie that was so bad

 **King Han** : haters gonna hate

 **King Han** : but seriously 

**King Han** : SOMEONE REPLY ME !!!!

 **King Han** : IM TRYNA GET THIS CHAT FLOWING AGAIN

 **Dinosaur** : hi

 **Dinosaur** : i am here hyung whachu want

 **King Han** : my child tell me the troubles of your youth

 **Dinosaur** : theres someone i like and idk what to do lol

 **King Han** : i miss this 

**King Han** : my daily dose of drama

 **Chinese Disappointment** : OKAY I AM HERE FOR THIS

**Chinese Disappointment’s name has been changed to _Chinese Prince_ by Chinese Prince**

**Chinese Prince** : what type of person are they 

**Dinosaur** : uh idk lol

 **Dinosaur** : a normal person ????????

 **Stfu** : hella helpful

 **Dinosaur** : why

 **Stfu** : why not

 **Memegyu** : AW OUR CHANNIE IS IN LOVE 

**Dinosaur** : love ???? idk her ??? who is she ???

 **Dab8** : what if love doesnt wanna be a ‘she’

 **Dab8** : did u just assume the gender of love

 **Dinosaur** : yes

 **Chinese Prince** : whatever idc 

**Chinese Prince** : chan u gotta play hard to get 

**Chinese Prince** : im an expert at that and look at all the people ive dated

 **Chinese Prince** : theyre all hot as fuck 

**Certified American** : Jun?

 **Chinese Prince** : ya

 **Certified American** : Why play so hard to get when you’re already so hard to want?

 **Dinosaur** : hyung no 

**Certified American** : Hyung yes. 

**YELLS** : joshua hyung just destroyed the whole meme culture

 **LOBSTER** : thats so sad

 **KIMBAP** : tragic. 

**C00l beans C00l jeans** : also junhui, gyu and i are so proud of you

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : we knew it would have happened anyway

 **King Han** : wot 

**Chinese Prince** : OMG WONWOO STFU 

**Dab8** : shit

 **Married Man** : whas goin on

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : oh sorry nvm ignore me lol

 **KIMBAP** : some weird shit is goin on here

 **LOBSTER** : hmmmmm

 **YELLS** : suspicious as fuc 

**Scoops** : i just walked into jihoon in his room wearing a new outfit and smiling at himself in the mirror

 **King Han** : AWWWWW IS OUR JIHOONIE GOING OUT ON A DATE 

**LOBSTER** : HOOOOOOOOOONNNNNIIIIEEEEEEEEE

 **LOBSTER** : WHOS A SMALL CUTIE PIE

 **LOBSTER** : YOU ARE JIHOONIEEEEEE

 **Stfu** : awww

 **Stfu** : whos still a big single loser? you are soonyoungieeeeeeeeee

 **LOBSTER** : HE CALLED ME SOONYOUNGIEEEEEEEEEEEE

 **LOBSTER** : also im not single ?????

 **King Han** : wot

 **LOBSTER** : yeah ????? havent been for the past 5 years 

**YELLS** : yeah guys 

**YELLS** : amateurs

 **KIMBAP** : wait wtf

 **KIMBAP** : im lost

 **Married Man** : soonyoung hyung who u datin ???????????

 **Stfu** : so you were dating someone for 5 years,,,, and i only just found out 

**Scoops** : omg ur wild

 **Stfu** : *URE

 **LOBSTER** : ya today is mine and seokmins 5th year anniversary AYYYYYY

 **Scoops** : wait so u and seokmin have the same anniversary date ?????? who r yall daTING

 **King Han** : holy fuck 

**Certified American** : :o

 **Chinese Prince** : hyung ,,,,,,,,,

 **LOBSTER** : seokmin youre dating someone else ??????? D:

 **YELLS** : SOONYOUNG HYUNG YOURE DATING SOMEONE ELSE ????????

 **LOBSTER** : NO I WOULD NEVER

 **YELLS** : OH IM SO RELIEVED NEITHER WOULD I 

**C00l beans C00l jeans** :so youre telling us

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : you guys have been dating for 5 years

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : without our knowledge

 **LOBSTER** : didnt u guys know were dating ??????

 **Chinese Prince** : WHAT TH E FU CK 

**King Han** : WH AT 

**King Han** : HUH?????????????????

 **KIMBAP** : I JUST FOUNF OUT ABOYT THIS 

**KIMBAP** : I HAVE NEVER KNOWN WHAT THE FUX RYT

 **YELLS** : u guys didnt know ??

 **Scoops** : WTF NO 

**Stfu** : oh my god what 

**Dinosaur** : happy 5th year anniversary !!!!

 **LOBSTER** : thank you our little dinO

 **YELLS** : THANKS YOU 

**Married Man** : …...im gonna go lie in a corner for a bit

 **Married Man** : im so overwhelmed

 **Dab8** : you two always seem like youre dating but we never ACTUALLY knew you guys were ACTUALLY dating tf 

**YELLS** : we thought it was super obvious

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : this is news to me 

**KIMBAP** : WHY DID I ONLY JUST FIND OUT WTF 

**KIMBAP** : I THOUGHT WE WOULD NEVER KEEP SECRETS FROM EACH OTHER

 **YELLS** : THIS WASNT A SECRET WE THOUGHT YOU KNEW

 **King Han** : WE LOVE YOU KWAN WERE SORRY WE DIDNT TELL YOU EXACTLY BEFORE

 **KIMBAP** : ITS OKAY I STILL LOVE YOU GUYS

 **YELLS** : :D

 **LOBSTER** : :D

 **KIMBAP** : :D

 **Dinosaur** : i totally admire seokmin hyungs perseverance thru these 5 yrs 

**LOBSTER** : WHATS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN 

**Dinosaur** : it means that i admire his skills to score such a cOoL gUy !!111!!!!!!111!11!

 **LOBSTER** : i think I scored the cool guy

 **YELLS** : :,,,,,,,)

 **Dinosaur** : sarcasm is pointless

 **Chinese Prince** : wait so chan do u still need advice

 **Dinosaur** : whAt ????? oN What ???????????????

 **Dinosaur** : mE ??? adViCe ?? WHaTs that ??? wHY do i NeeD aDVIce ????????????

 **Chinese Prince** : for the person you like ??

 **Dinosaur** : again, sarcasm is pointless

 **Dinosaur** : but nah man

 **Dinosaur** : i got over my man crush on lee jong suk

 **Scoops** : …….omg

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dead god this chapter was so boring iyafsbyjtcfyfVYHTfT buT im actually thinking of writing another fic to take some of my time off this fic (i write this too fast HAHAHAHA) but idk what to write abt?? im thinking of a dad! svt fic but idk what to use for the plot or should i do another au? please give me ideas pleaseeeeeee
> 
> also n another note YOU GUYS HAVE GOTTEN ME ONTO THE FIRST PAGE OF THE MEANIE TAG DIYJTVYDJDY GUYSSSSSSSSSS ♡♡♡ i really wanna thank you all for all the love and support i have received on this stupid chat fic and i will aim to be the FIRST on the meanie tag next HAHAHAHA


	13. buzzfeed: solved

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **King Han** : BACK TO JUNHUI AND HAO WHY DID JUN CALL MINGHAO “HAOHAO” AND WHY DIDNT MINGHAO REALLY RETALIATE AND INSTEAD CALLED JUN “JUNNIE” AND JUN DIDNT RETALIATE EITHER ????? next on buzzfeed: unsolved
> 
>  **Scoops** : you really are something han
> 
>  **King Han** : thats why you love me 
> 
> **Scoops** : shit u rite

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its mostly comedy HAHA and i got a lot of tge funny quotes from the twitter handle @TFLN17 so please do check them out !! i was scrolling down their twitter looking at all their hella funny tweets and decided to use a few for this !!

**My Family**

 

 **Dinosaur** : hey whats up 

**Scoops** : its a movie about an old man turning his house into a hot air balloon 

**Dinosaur** : oh okay thank you 

**King Han** : ?????

 **Dab8** : well that worked

 **Chinese Prince** : hello my haohao ♡

 **Dab8** : hi 

**Married Man** : so u jus gon let him call u haohao ????????

 **Stfu** : seungkwan how do u deal with him

 **KIMBAP** : i dont 

**Dab8** : uh i still hate it 

**Chinese Prince** : but i dont :,)

 **Dab8** : k junnie 

**Memegyu** : what the 

**C00l beans C00l jeans** : fuck is going on ???????

 **Dinosaur** : ??????

 **Dinosaur** : did you guys really pull a booseoksoon

 **LOBSTER** : THAT WAS

 **KIMBAP** : OUR 

**YELLS** : THING >:(

 **Memegyu** : did it not work nicely 

**Certified American** : Nope. 

**C00l beans C00l jeans** : to clarify i was forced into this

 **Chinese Prince** : ya we figured

 **Dinosaur** : i dont think anyone can pull it off except the 3 of them lol

 **YELLS** : :)

 **KIMBAP** : :)

 **LOBSTER** : :)

 **Dinosaur** : ok stop now

 **King Han** : BACK TO JUNHUI AND HAO WHY DID JUN CALL MINGHAO “HAOHAO” AND WHY DIDNT MINGHAO REALLY RETALIATE AND INSTEAD CALLED JUN “JUNNIE” AND JUN DIDNT RETALIATE EITHER ????? next on buzzfeed: unsolved

 **Scoops** : you really are something han

 **King Han** : thats why you love me 

**Scoops** : shit u rite

 **Stfu** : gross bye time to take out my eyeballs

 **LOBSTER** : ,,,,, wait 

**YELLS** : yes my love

 **Certified American** : I really wonder how we didn’t figure out or assume that they were dating all this time. 

**LOBSTER** : are junhui and hao in some sort of agreement ,,,, or something

 **YELLS** : yeah thats so suspicious ,,, they were online so early in the morning at the same time ,,,,,,

 **KIMBAP** : and now theyre calling each other names that would get us a hard smack on the arm and a stinky side eye if WE ever used it 

**Memegyu** : yoU GUYS HAVE NO IDEA AHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

 **YELLS** : oh?

 **KIMBAP** : oh?

 **LOBSTER** : oh?

 **King Han** : buzzfeed: solved

 **Dab8** : seriously im quite offended 

**Dab8** : i dont think my standards have dropped that low yet

 **Chinese Prince** : UHHHHH say again

 **Chinese Prince** : IM WAY OUT OF YOUR LEAGUE IM THE ONE WITH MY STANDARDS LOWERED

 **Chinese Prince** : THAT IS IF I EVER DATED YOU 

**Married Man** : this is so weird 

**Married Man** : lol

 **YELLS** : isnt it weird that people kill bugs bc theyre annoying 

**YELLS** : if people did that to people i would have died 20 years ago 

**Stfu** : arent u 20 now 

**YELLS** : yes 

**Stfu** : makes sense

 **Chinese Prince** : you guys are all so annoying wtf 

**King Han** : this is why youre not getting hao you fool

 **Memegyu** : oh hAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA 

**C00l beans C00l jeans** : baby pls no 

**Memegyu** : baby pls y e s 

**LOBSTER** : min did u just sneeze in the next room

 **YELLS** : yes wasitthatloud

 **Dab8** : now what do i do with this information

 **LOBSTER** : bless you 

**KIMBAP** : thank you for the blessing 

**Dinosaur** : thanks hyung :’)

 **LOBSTER** : i was talking to my minnie 

**YELLS** : im always blessed by having you in my life

 **LOBSTER** : seokmin :,)

 **YELLS** : soonyoung :’)

 **KIMBAP** : seungkwan

 **Memegyu** : mingyu

 **King Han** : king han 

**Married Man** : uh ok

 **Certified American** : Hey, just a curious question, do you guys want to have kids in the future?

 **KIMBAP** : no i cant take the constant crying 

**Certified American** : They don’t constantly cry, though. 

**KIMBAP** : oh no i meant me 

**Certified American** : Oh. 

**Chinese Prince** : guyysssss stop talking about my relationship with haohao !!!!!!!

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : literally no one did for the past 15 mins

 **Dab8** : damn junnie you got told

 **Stfu** : guess he dropped the honourifics

 **Dab8** : fuck u 

**Stfu** : *hyung 

**Scoops** : what r all of you doing on this beautiful night 

**LOBSTER** : wot 

**King Han** : watching a movie 

**King Han** : ps i love you 

**Scoops** : awwwww i love you too 

**King Han** : thats the movie im watching 

**Scoops** : oh 

**Scoops** : oh dear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it's a bit shorter than usual and it was a bit too all over the place ajjfjdjd i didny organise my thoughts properly sorry if you didnt understand !! if you have anything youd like to request for the next chapter, comment down below! all your comments always make my day 10039380203200x more happy ♡♡♡


	14. How Wonwoo Met His Boyfriend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Santa** : REMEMBER I SAID I CRIED WHEN HE WROTE ME A SONG (chapter 9) 
> 
> **YELLS** : why did you just type (chapter 9) 
> 
> **Santa** : so the reader knows where to find the part that i said i cried when he wrote me a song??? duh
> 
>  **YELLS** : ah makes sense

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i think this chapter is the longest so far??? idk

**My Family**

 

 **King Han** : i hate that i always have to start the conversations

 **King Han** : but here i am

 **King Han** : whats up bitches

 **YELLS** : HELLO

 **KIMBAP** : HELLO

 **LOBSTER** : HELL

 **LOBSTER** : *HELLP

 **LOBSTER** : *H E L L O 

**Scoops** : wild

 **LOBSTER** : thank you

 **King Han** : i have made the mistake of watching too much buzzfeed tasty episodes

 **King Han** : and worth it episodes

 **King Han** : and now i am staRVING

 **Scoops** : you can eat this as-

 **Scoops** : sorry that was not appropriate

 **Certified American** : Thank you, Seungcheol!

 **King Han** : ? ok ?

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : literally everyone shut up its so late

 **Married Man** : its 3 in the afternoon 

**C00l beans C00l jeans** : LOOK IM TIRED

 **Chinese Prince** : who got ur underwear in a twist

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : wtf

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : it was gyu the entire morning AND afternoon

 **Chinese Prince** : so your underwear wasnt in a twist, it was tossed somewhere

 **Dinosaur** : omg scandalous 

**C00l beans C00l jeans** : i will literally cut you

 **Chinese Prince** : k 

**C00l beans C00l jeans** : i came home late last night and was trying to sleep but gyu was trying out his new speaker or whatever and he keeps blasting mariah carey 

**Dab8** : its november

 **Memegyu** : ALMOST CHRISTMAS

**Memegyu’s name has been changed to _Santa_ by Dab8**

**Santa** : accurate

 **Santa** : LOOK its almost christmas and youre not hyPE YET SO IM GETTING HYPE ON YOUR BEHALF

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : I JUST WANT TO SLEEP 

**Santa** : OH REALLY???? 

**Santa** : omg baby sorry if you did you should have just told me so 

**C00l beans C00l jeans** : I WAS SCREAMING SHUT UP FROM OUR BEDROOM AND ALL YOU DID WAS MAKE KISSY FACES AT ME AND MOUTH HER LYRICS

 **Santa** : i misinterpreted 

**King Han** : IM STILL HUNGRY

 **Scoops** : ILL COOK FOR YOU

 **King Han** : nothing you cook is edible

 **King Han** : i love you but you cant cook at all

 **King Han** : gyu pls cook for me now

 **Santa** : i mean,, im home right now

 **King Han** : Now

 **Santa** : OKAY ILL GET MY COAT AND ILL BE THERE IN 10

 **King Han** : thank you gyu

 **Dinosaur** : ,,,can i have a name change too 

**Dinosaur** : ive had the same boring name since soonyoung hyung created the chat and now that mingyu hyungs name is changed IM ALONE

 **Dab8** : i havent had a name change

 **Certified American** : Neither have I. 

**Chinese Prince** : i mean i kinda changed mine and changed it back so 

**Scoops** : i havent 

**Dinosaur** : ya bc you guys have nothing going on in ur lives

 **Scoops** : WHAT IS THIS DISRESPECT

 **Dab8** : what did you say bitch 

**Certified American** : Seems fair. 

**Chinese Prince** : shua hyung sounds so sad

 **Certified American** : Not really. 

**Certified American** : lol

 **Chinese Prince** : if you ever want a name change hyung, just tell us 

**Certified American** : Of course. Thank you Junhui. 

**Chinese Prince** : BUT THE WAY YOU TYPE MAKES ME SO ANGRY

**Certified American’s name has been changed to _Fullstop_ by Chinese Prince**

**Fullstop** : I- okay. 

**Scoops** : HOW ABOUT ME AND MINGHAO AND CHAN :):):):):):)

 **Chinese Prince** : eh cant think for u or chan rn lol soz

**Dab8’s name has been changed to _Most Beautiful_ by Chinese Prince**

**Chinese Prince** : haohao is the only person i can say is better looking than me :,)

 **King Han** : how about me

 **Chinese Prince** : no 

**Most Beautiful's name has been changed to _Dab8_ by Dab8**

**Dab8** : dont change my name 

**Married Man** : so i was thinking 

**Stfu** : oh hansol i really hope so 

**Married Man** : no slander pls

**Married Man’s name has been changed to _Slander_ by Stfu**

**Slander** : wtv

 **Slander** : i never knew how mingyu hyung and wonwoo hyung got together

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : stop mentioning me

 **Stfu** : stop coming online

 **Santa** : OOH OOH I CAN TELL THIS STORY

 **Dab8** : youre the only one who can gyu

 **Dab8** : actually, thats only bc wonwoo hyung isnt online 

**Santa** : thank u i feel special

 **Dab8** : ok??

 **YELLS** : WHERE IS MY PHONE I THINK I LOST IT

 **LOBSTER** : youre using it right now

 **YELLS** : oh ya thank u ily

 **LOBSTER** : ily more

 **YELLS** : <3

 **LOBSTER** : how to flip the 3

 **LOBSTER** : wait i found it 

**LOBSTER** : Ɛ>

 **Dinosaur** : what the fuck 

**Fullstop** : Chan!

 **Dinosaur** : i do not regret

 **Santa** : SO MY STORY 

**Santa** : we met at a korean bbq place

 **Santa** : yknow the shitty one down the street

 **Santa** : yeah that one

 **Santa** : and he was alone and i was alone so i was like HOW ABOUT I MAKE A FRIEND

 **Santa** : so i sat next to him and cooked everything for him and he fell in love with my irresistible charm and beautiful figure

 **Slander** : im not wonwoo hyung but im sure that didnt happen

 **Santa** : excUSE YOU

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : yeah hansol youre right 

**Slander** : HELL YEAH i called it 

**Santa** : DONT TELL THEM 

**C00l beans C00l jeans** : what why not 

**Santa** : JUST DONT PLE A SE 

**C00l beans C00l jeans** : i wont go into details then 

**C00l beans** : we were at some party and he did something weird and called me the next day apologising 

**King Han** : wtf how did he get ur number

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : idk ask him

 **LOBSTER** : he got it off me 

**Santa** : ya

 **King Han** : uh

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : and yeah thats basically how we met

 **Santa** : WE HAVE YET TO GET A DOG 

**C00l beans C00l jeans** : can we not 

**Santa** : PLEA S E PLEAS E PLE A SE 

**C00l beans C00l jeans** : oh dear 

**Dinosaur** : wut why jack

 **Santa** : wut why not

 **Dinosaur** : doesnt make sense but thats fair 

**Chinese Prince** : im just gonna guess that the dog was the weird thing that mingyu said to wonwoo 

**Santa** : I NEVER SAID THAT 

**C00l beans C00l jeans** : youre walking the dog and cleaning its poop and making sure it never comes near me ever

 **Santa** : SO WE CAN GET A DOG

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : we’ll talk abt it later baby

 **Santa** : THATS AN ALMOST YES DJFJJDJDKFKF

 **KIMBAP** : who asked who to be their boyfriend

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : uh gyu asked me

 **Santa** : I DID in the best way ever

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : it was nice

 **Santa** : IT WAS BETTER THAN NICE IT WAS THE BEST

 **Slander** : i thought mine was p good

 **Santa** : MINE WAS BETTER HANSOL

 **Slander** : OKAY I TRUST YOU

 **Santa** : i wrote him a song that was called WHY I HATE YOU and it was me listing all his good points and why i loved him

 **Stfu** : why did u call it why i hate you if you were just gonna list out his good points and not the things you hate abt him

 **Santa** : y not

 **Dab8** : you cant just ‘why not’ outta every situation

 **Santa** : y not

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : it’s impossible just dont bother trying

 **Santa** : and a few weeks after i asked him to be my boyfriend and he said yes he wrOTE ME A SONG TOO

 **Santa** : REMEMBER I SAID I CRIED WHEN HE WROTE ME A SONG (chapter 9) 

**YELLS** : why did you just type (chapter 9) 

**Santa** : so the reader knows where to find the part that i said i cried when he wrote me a song??? duh

 **YELLS** : ah makes sense

 **Santa** : the song he wrote for me was called WHY I LOVE YOU 

**Santa** : and it was really about how he loved me and that was our first mutual i love you :,)

 **LOBSTER** : OMG DJCJSJMC THATS SO CUTE

 **YELLS** : THAT WAS SO CUTE 

**KIMBAP** : AHHHHH IM SCREAMING

 **Slander** : he actually is 

**Slander** : pls make him stop

 **Chinese Prince** : WONWOO YOURE SO SOFT

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : WEN JUNHUI DO YOU WANT YOUR SOFTNESS TO GET EXPOSED AS WELL

 **Chinese Prince** : NO GDDJKGKFKF STFU 

**C00l beans C00l jeans** : never

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> will wonwoo expose junhui???? FIND OUT IN THE NEXT CHAPTER


	15. sometimes, things break

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Santa** : is there anything more beautiful?
> 
>  **Santa** : or anyone ;)
> 
>  **Dab8** : not that i can think of?
> 
>  **LOBSTER** : seokmin
> 
>  **YELLS** : soonyoung hyung
> 
>  **LOBSTER** : omg
> 
>  **YELLS** : omg
> 
>  **Dinosaur** : lee jong suk 
> 
> **Fullstop** : All of you here. 
> 
> **Stfu** : my actual foot
> 
>  **King Han** : myself
> 
>  **Scoops** : i knew it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I WROTE THIS ON A WHIM AND IT JUST TOOK A WHOLE ASS TURN I GOT WHIPLASH

**My Family**

 

 **Chinese Prince** : UH GOOD MORNING

 **Chinese Prince** : TODAY IS OPPOSITE DAY

 **KIMBAP** : so is what youre saying opposite or not opposite

 **Chinese Prince** : ?? wot

 **YELLS** : i mean u said today was opposite day, are you speaking oppositely or the actual truth

 **Chinese Prince** : im not speaking oppositely todAY IS OPPOSITE DAY

 **LOBSTER** : so was that opposite or not 

**Chinese Prince** : OMG CAN YOU GUYS SHUT UP 

**Santa** : then shouldnt it be bad evening since its opposite day

 **Chinese Prince** : WHATEVER JUST IGNORE WHATEVER I JUST SAID OH MY GOD 

**Dinosaur** : suspicious…………….

 **Dab8** : ok junnie

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : literally what the fuck is going on

 

**Private Message with Jeon Wonwoo**

 

 **Wen Junhui** : ok i need you to shut up and not tell anyone about me and hao ok

 **Jeon Wonwoo** : why

 **Jeon Wonwoo** : ya why -gyu

 **Wen Junhui** : bc HE WANTS TO KEEP IT ON THE DOWN LOW 

**Jeon Wonwoo** : oh so he wants to huh -gyugyu

 **Wen Junhui** : yeah but i want to SCREAM IT OUT FOR THE WORLD TO HEAR 

**Jeon Wonwoo** : i can help you with that ;) -gyugyugyu

 **Wen Junhui** : BICT H WHAT T

 

**My Family**

 

 **Santa** : WHAT A BEAUTIFUL MORNING

 **Santa** : ISNT IT MINGHAO 

 

**Private Message with Jeon Wonwoo**

 

 **Wen Junhui** : OH MY GOD JEON WONWOO TELL YOUR BOYFRIEND TO SHUT UP 

**Jeon Wonwoo** : what

 

**My Family**

 

 **Dab8** : uh i guess ???

 **Santa** : is there anything more beautiful?

 **Santa** : or anyone ;)

 **Dab8** : not that i can think of?

 **LOBSTER** : seokmin

 **YELLS** : soonyoung hyung

 **LOBSTER** : omg

 **YELLS** : omg

 **Dinosaur** : lee jong suk hyung

 **Fullstop** : All of you here. 

**Stfu** : my actual foot

 **King Han** : myself

 **Scoops** : i knew it

 **Santa** : this was for hao

 **Dab8** : dont call me hao

 **Slander** : why can jun hyung call u hao then

 **Chinese Prince** : HAPPY OPPOSITE DAY

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : ?

 

**Private Message with Kim Mingyu**

 

 **Wen Junhui** : KIM MINGYU STFU 

**Kim Mingyu** : thats all i was gonna do dw hyung i wont expose you

 

**My Family**

 

 **Chinese Prince** : ok thanks gyu

 **Scoops** : ????? what did mingyu do 

**Chinese Prince** : wrong chat sorry 

**Stfu** : ok

 **King Han** : ok

 **King Han** : cheol my love and my entire life 

**King Han** : when r u coming home im hella bored ive been watching desperate housewives all day

 **KIMBAP** : wus goin on ?????????

 **King Han** : :-)

 **Scoops** : jeonghan my entire universe

 **Scoops** : ill b home in like 5 im picking the mice up i love you

 **King Han** : i love you too

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : what

 **YELLS** : MICE 

**KIMBAP** : ?????

 **LOBSTER** : WHA T T T TT T T T 

**Scoops** : the chocolate mice candy that jeonghan likes 

**Santa** : that made a lot more sense than what i was thinking

 **Fullstop** : I think we were all assuming the same thing. 

**Chinese Prince** : gyu i think we all hope you were thinking 

**Santa** : :(

 **LOBSTER** : im actually so confused

 **King Han** : cheol and i have a very special surprise for you guys!!!

 **Scoops** : YEAH WE'LL TELL YALL WHEN I GET HOME OK

 **Dab8** : cool

 **Slander** : o ya minghao hyung

 **Slander** : i have some c00l n3ws

 **Stfu** : STOP TYPING LIKE THAT

 **Slander** : IT WAS A JOKE 

**Slander** : anyway

 **Slander** : i was out w some of my friends and one of them pointed to u on my wallpaper and said u were hot as heLL

 **Dab8** : cool

 **Chinese Prince** : TELL HIM TO BACK OFF

 **Slander** : ya i told him minghao hyung isnt interested lol

 **Dab8** : u know me well

 **Dab8** : good job hansol

 **Slander** : ya i kno

 **KIMBAP** : wow i guess hyung is dating someone ;)

 **Dinosaur** : must be nice to be dating someone :,)

 **Dab8** : im not dating junhui hyung tho??

 **YELLS** : :0

 **King Han** : ….no one said anything abt junhui tho

 **Fullstop** : :0

 **LOBSTER** : :0

 **KIMBAP** : :0

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : oh no 

**Chinese Prince** : fuck

 **YELLS** : SO JUNHUI HYUNG AND MINGHAO ARE DATING???????????

 **Slander** : oh wow

 **Stfu** : i didnt expect jun to be so successful in scoring minghao wow

 **Scoops** : WHA T 

**Dab8** : ok ???? we’re dating ???? so what ????

 **Santa** : wwhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaattttt?????????????

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : baby you knew

 **Santa** : i thought we were supposed to pretend we didnt know

 **Chinese Prince** : too late now right

 **Santa** : uh sorry????

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : guys please dont fight

 **Chinese Prince** : we werent fighting?????

 **Chinese Prince** : your boyfriend was just too oblivious to know what to say and when not to say it

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : junhui stop

 **Santa** : look man im sorry dont get all snappy on me

 **Chinese Prince** : this isnt the proper way a dongsaeng should talk to his hyung

 **Santa** : you were just being rude and i was just standing up for myself

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : baby please calm down

 **Dab8** : junnie calm down

 **Chinese Prince** : you were the one who wanted to tell everyone about us when i specifically told you not to say anything

 **King Han** : guys please stop we can sort this out

 **Santa** : I DIDNT SAY ANYTHING ABOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIP TO ANYONE 

**Chinese Prince** : BUT YOU WERE HINTING AT IT JUST NOW

 **Santa** : YEAH AND I STOPPED AND APOLOGISED AFTER YOU TOLD ME TO STOP I LISTENED TO YOU INSTEAD OF CONTINUING

 **Fullstop** : Mingyu, I need you to calm down. 

**Santa** : you guys have been being rude to me from the start, calling me a ditz and an airhead and ive been really upset about it but i never said anything because i thought they were untrue and you all just said it for fun

 **Santa** : i dont know about everyone else, but i think i can assume that junhui hyung’s insults were genuine and i hate it

**Santa has quit My Family**

**C00l beans C00l jeans** : im so sorry

 **Chinese Prince** : fine

**Chinese Prince has quit My Family**

**Scoops** : oh no 

**King Han** : what have we done

 **LOBSTER** : wait jeonghan hyung?

 **King Han** : yes soonyoung

 **LOBSTER** : you and seungcheol hyung said you guys had something to tell us?

 **Scoops** : i dont think right now is a good time 

**Dinosaur** : our family :(

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry for any pain that i have caused, i will heal you with a big hug + WHAT IS THE SURPRISE JEONGHAN AND CHEOL R KEEPING ?????? ill tell you guys later
> 
>  
> 
> PS i did not mean for junhui to be a mean person, nor did i want to make him the "villain" of this fic. i just figured that sometimes people have bad days, and both mingyu and junhui just had a bad day. neither of them actually meant what they said, so please do not yell at me about how i am antagonising junhui. thank you


	16. knock some sense

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Chinese Prince** : hello 
> 
> **Chinese Prince** : royalty has arrived
> 
> **King Han** : ive always been here

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this story is a whole ride hold on to something 
> 
> PLS READ END NOTES THANK YOU

**Private Message with Kim Mingyu**

 

**Joshua Hong** : Mingyu?

**Joshua Hong** : I see you reading my message. 

**Joshua Hong** : I see you reading that one. 

**Joshua Hong** : And that one. 

**Joshua Hong** : Anyway, I just came here to talk, Mingyu. If you want to reply me or not, that’s ultimately your choice. But please, at least read my messages. 

**Joshua Hong** : Junhui is a very brash boy, he really is. Even from my perspective I can see that he is. But, I can 100% guarantee that he did not mean anything mean he has said to you. 

**Joshua Hong** : You’re Minghao’s good friend, right?

**Joshua Hong** : And he’s dating Junhui. That says something, that Minghao sees a different side to Junhui than most people at first glance. 

**Joshua Hong** : I fully trust in Minghao, and I can bet my life that you do as well. So, you must trust in his trust in Junhui. 

**Joshua Hong** : Junhui may be harsh and a little rude at times, but he would never intentionally hurt someone. Everyone has bad days, right? Even you lashed out and said some things that I know you don’t mean to him, and I could tell that he was hurt by your words as well. 

**Joshua Hong** : I know, even if you don’t, that he is a wonderful person inside, or maybe very deep inside. But, he does love and care for you, and maybe he has a different way in expressing that love. 

**Joshua Hong** : And you love and trust Wonwoo as well, right? He is good friends with Junhui. He obviously sees a very good side of Junhui to remain friends with him for so long. And Wonwoo loves you a lot, he would never befriend someone who hated you and made fun of you to make you feel bad, right?

**Joshua Hong** : I am in no way trying to pressure you into replying me, much less apologising to Junhui. I just ask for you to read my messages and think carefully whether you meant anything you said just now in the chat. I’m just looking out for you, that’s all. 

**Joshua Hong** : It’s late, you should be sleeping now. 

**Joshua Hong** : Goodnight, Mingyu. I’m always here for you. 

**Kim Mingyu** : thank you, hyung 

**Kim Mingyu** : youre right, i didnt mean anything i said about jun hyung in the chat

**Kim Mingyu** : i think i was just doing some emotional unloading which i really regret doing 

**Kim Mingyu** : and ya i do trust both wonwoo and minghao abt what they think and see in jun hyung 

**Kim Mingyu** : im just afraid that if i pm hyung my pride will be bruised

**Joshua Hong** : Mingyu, I think that if he replies, he will feel like his pride is bruised as well. Don’t worry about it too much, just do what your conscience tells you. 

**Kim Mingyu** : thank u hyung

**Kim Mingyu** : i love u thank you

**Joshua Hong** : I love you too. Now get some rest!

**Kim Mingyu** : :-)

 

**Private Message with Wen Junhui**

 

**Lee Chan** : waddup hyung

**Wen Junhui** : not the time chan 

**Lee Chan** : i came here with a goal in mind and im not leaving without fulfilling it 

**Lee Chan** : so here i am 

**Wen Junhui** : yknow i can switch off my phone 

**Lee Chan** : ya but it will hurt my poor, 18 year old heart 

**Wen Junhui** : what do u want 

**Lee Chan** : love 

**Lee Chan** : i was like ,,,, so sad when u and gyu hyung left i felt like my legit family was being torn apart

**Lee Chan** : yall hv been part of my kind of family for so many years and i love all of u 

**Lee Chan** : it really pains me to be sappy omg better treasure this moment BLEUGH

**Wen Junhui** : i gotchu

**Lee Chan** : pls make up with gyu hyung pls its so sad in the chat

**Lee Chan** : no one has talked in so long and i wanna tALK BUT NO ONE’S TALKING IN IT

**Lee Chan** : YOU GUYS ARE BEING SORT OF SELFISH OK 

**Wen Junhui** : ???excuse me ????

**Lee Chan** : OKAY I HAVE HAD ENOUGH HYUNG 

**Lee Chan** : I LOVE YOU A LOT BUT YOU NEED A HUGE SLAP IN THE FACE metaphorically of course

**Lee Chan** : YOU LOVE GYU HYUNG LIKE A BROTHER AND I KNOW THAT HE DOES LOVE YOU TOO SO DONT SPEW ANY BS ABT HOW YOU DONT CARE FOR HIM AT ALL BC I KNOW YOU DO DONT LIE TO ME

**Lee Chan** : SO WHEN YOU BLEW UP AT HIM which was totally understandable bc u probs had a bad day being exposed and all HE DIDNT TAKE IT LIGHTLY 

**Lee Chan** : INSTEAD HE BLEW UP ON YOU mostly AND DID LIKE A MINI EXPLOSION WITH ALL HIS FEELINGS AND SHIT

**Lee Chan** : AND YA ?? THAT SUCKED BUT YOU BLEW UP ON HIM TOO OKAY IT ISNT ENTIRELY HIS FAULT AND IT ISNT ENTIRELY YOUR FAULT EITHER ITS BOTH OF YOU

**Lee Chan** : AND IM NOT TRYNA BE RUDE OR ANYTHING BUT OUR FAMILY IS IN HELLA DANGER OF FALLING THE FUCK APART

**Lee Chan** : PLS COME TO UR SENSES AND SUCK UP UR PRIDE TO APOLOGISE OK rant over

**Lee Chan** : sorry if i sounded rude i was just tryna knock some sense into you

**Wen Junhui** : ….wow

**Lee Chan** : sorry if i made you upset

**Wen Junhui** : no wait wtf im feeling weird things now 

**Wen Junhui** : how did an immature 18 year old turn into this boy who knocked sense into me 

**Wen Junhui** : thanks chan it actually helped me realise that i suck and i should apologise

**Lee Chan** : no problemo hyung 

**Wen Junhui** : u r now a MAN

**Lee Chan** : FUCKIN FINALLY

 

**Private Message with Wen Junhui**

 

**Kim Mingyu** : uh hello hyung 

**Wen Junhui** : hi gyu

**Kim Mingyu** : im gunna make this as painless as possible and i just want the awkwardness to fizzle away asap 

**Kim Mingyu** : im sorry i exploded on u and i didnt mean anything bad i said abt u ok ilu hyung 

**Wen Junhui** : should have known 

**Wen Junhui** : kim mingyu the resident softie :,)

**Kim Mingyu** : u kno it 

**Wen Junhui** : and i hope you also know im sorry for snapping and being ultra mean to you i didnt mean any of it either ok 

**Kim Mingyu** : HYUNG I LOVE YOU 

**Wen Junhui** : calm down boi

**Kim Mingyu** : uh im hella calm ?????

**Kim Mingyu** : btw who talked to u jn

**Kim Mingyu** : bc no offence, but i kno u wouldnt apologise willingly lol no offence

**Wen Junhui** : offence taken but i understand 

**Wen Junhui** : but chan talked to me

**Kim Mingyu** : and it worked ??????

**Wen Junhui** : surprisingly ya ???? i didnt know he had it in him

**Wen Junhui** : it was like he gave me a slap in the face it was wild

**Kim Mingyu** : joshua hyung talked to me

**Kim Mingyu** : it was weird talking in full sentences and good grammar

**Wen Junhui** : I KNOW RIGHT

**Wen Junhui** : its infuriating 

**Kim Mingyu** : mm

**Kim Mingyu** : should i ask joshua hyung to add us back

**Wen Junhui** : yea sure

**Wen Junhui** : and sorry again

**Kim Mingyu** : im sorry too

**Kim Mingyu** : so those sorries cancel each other out so we r even :-)

 

**My Family**

 

**Chinese Prince** : hello 

**Chinese Prince** : royalty has arrived

**King Han** : ive always been here

**King Han** : but good to have u back jun

**LOBSTER** : JUNHUI WEN JUNHUI WEN 

**Santa** : sorry for blowing up on you guys ://

**Chinese Prince** : sorry that i was a soggy sally 

**Dab8** : never say soggy sally ever again thanks 

**YELLS** : soggy sally soggy sally soggy sally soggy sally soggy sally soggy sally soggy sally soggy sally 

**Dab8** : what the fuck

**C00l beans C00l jeans** : glad that you two are okay now 

**Scoops** : you two had us all a bit worried there

**KIMBAP** : A BIT ????? I WAS SCREAMING AND CRYING 

**KIMBAP** : HANSOL’S HOUSE WAS OUT OF TISSUE AFTER HALF AN HOUR AND HE BOUGHT TWO MORE BOXES OF TISSUE AND WE JUST FINISHED THEM 

**Slander** : u guys owe me 5.40 for the tissues

**Santa** : no 

**Stfu** : you stupid fucks 

**Stfu** : cheol hyung and jeonghan hyung had stuff to tell us 

**Stfu** : and u two dELAYED IT 

**Chinese Prince** : love u too jihoonie 

**Stfu** : bitch dont push it 

**Fullstop** : Yeah! Seuncheol and Jeonghan didn’t come around to telling us their big surprise!

**King Han** : like rn ???

**Dinosaur** : uh YA????????????????

**Scoops** : ok boi chill

**Dab8** : never say boi again

**Scoops** : boi boi boi boi

**Dab8** : dear go d

**King Han** : i dunno whether this is a good time tho

**YELLS** : JUST TELL US 

**LOBSTER** : Y A PLEASE 

**KIMBAP** : T E L L U S 

**Scoops** : OKAY CALM DOWN

**Scoops** : we have a wedding this saturday and all of us r going 

**Santa** : wat

**King Han** : bc the both grooms’ parents arent happy w the idea that their sons are gay for each other and they needa get married asap so they can escape from their parents grip on them

**C00l beans C00l jeans** : aw thats so sad

**Slander** : awwww so bumzi hyungs wedding is on saturday

**Slander** : time to clear my calendar and get a suit

**KIMBAP** : you have nothing on any day of the week or month or year

**Slander** : guess i can go then 

**Scoops** : no my children

**Scoops** : i proposed

**King Han** : and ive got a new ring and a new fiance

**YELLS** : OH MTD GODSRDUJYVSRYVRDYSTVJ

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO !! YES YOU !! HOLUP A BIT !! i have made a twitter wooooo to actually TALK to the people behind the ao3 usernames and the cute comments :,,,,) also if you havent noticed, ive made this a part 1 of this chat fic series THAT MEANS i WILL be writing actual stories and stuff that wasnt included in this chat fic as small side fics !! like ill have maybe a day in the life of joshua, or an episode of minghao's bad moods in the perspective of mingyu, or seeing seungkwan pine for attention in the eyes of vernon idk yet BUT I WILL be posting behind the scenes of my work on my twitter
> 
> WHICH IS THIS [@djeiisaa](https://twitter.com/djeiisaa?lang=en)
> 
> so yeah, if you want, follow me for fic updates and almost daily contemplation of the meaning of life


	17. Happy Wedding Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **King Han** : FUCKFUCKFICKFICKFICFCUFLCUFLULCULUFYKUJYDVMCR
> 
>  **Stfu** : mood
> 
>  **Santa** : the inventor of the dictionary is shaking in his boots
> 
>  **Santa** : or her boots
> 
>  **Santa** : cant assume

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> JEONGCHEOL WEDDING CHAPTER RN YALL
> 
> also hAPPY BIRTHDAY LEE JIHOON this chapter is for you i love you

**Scoops created one (1) chat: GROOMSMEN**  
**Scoops added Stfu and 4 others to the chat**

 

 **LOBSTER** : why r there only 5 of us 

**C00l beans C00l jeans** : does this mean that jeonghan hyung has one more groomsman 

**Scoops** : i lost a game so i have one less

 **Stfu** : so u dont have any best men???

 **Scoops** : OH FUCK I FORGOT YA

 **Scoops** : Josh is our best man

 **LOBSTER** : i feel like i should get offended but im not going to 

**Dab8** : i wouldnt if i were you 

**Dab8** : i understand why yall chose shua hyung lol

 **LOBSTER** : what does that mean

 **Dab8** : nothin

 **Stfu** : i thought there should be two best men bc there are two of you ????

 **Scoops** : oh yeah

 **Scoops** : will you be my best man, lee jihoon

 **Stfu** : im-

 **Stfu** : ok yeah sure

 **Slander** : why am i here

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : bc we’re all seungcheol hyung’s groomsmen

 **Slander** : oh

 **Slander** : cool

 **Scoops** : is that the most enthusiastic response you can give

 **Scoops** : id like to think that im of a higher position than just “oh cool”

 **Slander** : ok

 **Slander** : amazing

 **Scoops** : th-thanks for that 

**Scoops** : ps also i need yall to plan the wedding and get everything settled ok

 **LOBSTER** : wha

 **Stfu** : dude its your wedding youre supposed to plan

 **Scoops** : ITS IN LIKE 24 HOURS I NEED HELP

 **LOBSTER** : OKAY SIR IM READY

 **Scoops** : GOOD

 **LOBSTER** : :D

 **Scoops** : basically i needa give you guys your jobs 

**Stfu** : r u gonna pay us

 **Scoops** : ????? no 

**Stfu** : then it aint a job

 **Scoops** : JIHOON PLEA S E E

 **Stfu** : OKAY SORRY

 **Scoops** : basically 

**Scoops** : jeonghan and i want jihoon, seokmin and seungkwan to sing there

 **Stfu** : sing what

 **Scoops** : i dont really care just sing something nice

 **Stfu** : fuck you by lily allen it is

 **Scoops** : whatever just get it done

 **Scoops** : soonyoung and hansol

 **Scoops** : i need you two to get the nicest cake you can within $100 by tonight and have it delivered tomorrow

 **LOBSTER** : OKAY 

**Slander** : where is it gonna be

 **Scoops** : jeonghan’s garden

 **Scoops** : his parents are out of town for the week thats why it needs to be choppy

 **LOBSTER** : GOT IT SIR IM ON IT RN

 **Scoops** : wonwoo i need you to come with me today to find a tux

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : of course ill meet you at yours in a bit 

**Scoops** : hao can you be the photographer and videographer??

 **Dab8** : i would be honoured to

 **Scoops** : im so nervous oh my god 

**Slander** : chillax hyung

 **Slander** : its gonna go great

 

**King Han created one (1) chat: The Better Groom’s Men**  
**King Han added Fullstop and 5 others to the chat**

 

 **Chinese Prince** : jeonghan hyung did u make this groupchat?

 **King Han** : yeah

 **Chinese Prince** : then why does it say the BETTER groom’s men

 **King Han** : DO YOU WANT TO BE UNINVITED TO MY WEDDING

 **Chinese Prince** : no :-)

 **Fullstop** : I’m so honoured to be your best man, Jeonghan! 

**KIMBAP** : shua hyung is best man ??????

 **YELLS** : i get it 

**Dinosaur** : hyUUUUUNNG im so proud :<)))))

 **Santa** : YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS

 **King Han** : im so jittery uktvuyjrhjrchwagmtschsvgdyt

 **King Han** : i need to give you guys some tasks if thats okay

 **King Han** : thats not a question

 **Dinosaur** : ….ok

 **King Han** : seungkwan, seokmin and jihoon will sing a song 

**King Han** : you guys choose a song idc go talk to jihoon

 **KIMBAP** : COOL

 **YELLS** : AW YEAH

 **King Han** : junhui i need you to find an officiator

 **Fullstop** : I have a friend who can do it. 

**King Han** : junhui i need you to get a bouquet of flowers

 **King Han** : arrange them nicely please

 **Chinese Prince** : damn shua hyung

 **Chinese Prince** : stealing my job

 **Chinese Prince** : BUT YA I WILL

 **Fullstop** : :(

 **Chinese Prince** : :)

 **Fullstop** : :)

 **King Han** : chan 

**King Han** : come with me today to find a nice tux

 **Dinosaur** : okay sure 

**King Han** : mingyu could u help me do my hair and makeup and stuff

 **Santa** : uhhh yEAH

 **Santa** : is there no bachelor party tho

 **King Han** : FUCK

 **King Han** : OKAY TONIGHT MY PLACE

 **Chinese Prince** : I CALL BRINGING THE ALCOHOL

 **YELLS** : ILL BRING GAMES

 **KIMBAP** : AND EVERYONE WILL BRING EVERYTHING ELSE okay its settled

 **Dinosaur** : jeonghan hyung 

**Dinosaur** : im so proud of you 

**King Han** : CHAN DONT YOU GET ALL MUSHY WITH ME NOW

 **King Han** : YESTERDAY YOU SAID YOU WANTED TO STEP ON MY FACE

 **Dinosaur** : uhhh thats in the past ????

 **YELLS** : uh so jihoon hyung wants to sing fuck you by lily allen

 **YELLS** : is that appropriate????

 

**My Family**

 

 **YELLS** : UHHHHHHH HAPPY WEDDING DAY 

**King Han** : FUCKFUCKFICKFICKFICFCUFLCUFLULCULUFYKUJYDVMCR

 **Stfu** : mood

 **Santa** : the inventor of the dictionary is shaking in his boots

 **Santa** : or her boots

 **Santa** : cant assume

 **Chinese Prince** : i feel jittery too wtf is this

 **Dab8** : thats called excitement you non feeling being

 **Chinese Prince** : ill shove feelings down your throat

 **Chinese Prince** : fuck was that haohao

 **Chinese Prince** : sorry baby i didnt mean it :(

 **Dab8** : ok

 **Fullstop** : You two will be fine. We’ll all be there to support the both of you. 

**Scoops** : i MIGHT CRY RIGHT NOW

 **Slander** : DONT CRY I JUST DID YOUR MAKEUP

 **Dinosaur** : dont die hyungs

 **KIMBAP** : WE’LL SEE YOU GUYS IN A BIT

 **LOBSTER** : IM SO EXCITED 

**YELLS** : YAAAAAAAAAA

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : you two will be fine

 

**Private Message with Fullstop**

 

 **Yoon Jeonghan** : do you really think everything will be okay

 **Joshua Hong** : I’m positive. 

**Joshua Hong** : Come out of your room. I want to see you and walk you down the aisle to pass you to your soulmate. 

**Yoon Jeonghan** : i love you josh but i really wish my dad was here to do this

 **Joshua Hong** : I totally understand. But, just for today, I will play the role of your father. I raised you on my back, after all. 

**Yoon Jeonghan** : lol

 **Yoon Jeonghan** : thanks josh i love you 

**Joshua Hong** : I love you too. 

**Joshua Hong** : Now, hurry up! I’m ready to hand you over to the man that loves you the most.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you guys liked this chapter !! i was just wondering, do you guys know who my svt bias is? 
> 
> if you'd like to see little behind the scenes or updates on this series, or just want to talk to me one-on-one, you could go to my twitter [@djeiisaa](https://twitter.com/djeiisaa) !! feel free to pm me on there and id love to talk !!


	18. It Isn't Christmas Yet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **King Han** : I don’t want a lot for christmas
> 
>  **C00l beans C00l jeans** : what
> 
>  **Husband** : theres just one thing i need
> 
>  **Dab8** : i dont care about the presents
> 
>  **Dinosaur** : underneath the christmas tree
> 
>  **C00l beans C00l jeans** : no no no no
> 
>  **Chinese Prince** : i just want you for my own
> 
>  **Fullstop** : More than you will ever know. 
> 
> **Slander** : make my wish come truuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuUUUUUUUe
> 
>  **Stfu** : all i want for christmas
> 
>  **Santa** : IS YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUU

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in this chapter seungkwan is a piece of shit and everyone loves christmas except wonwoo (or does he)

**My Family**

 

 **KIMBAP** : so 

**KIMBAP** : how doES IT FEEL LIKE TO BE MARRIED !!!!!!!

 **Santa** : idk i havent experienced it before ;//

 **KIMBAP** : no u goon i was talking to seungcheol hyung and jeonghan hyung

 **Santa** : goon ???????

 **Scoops** : it feels exactly the same 

**Scoops** : excEPT I HAVE A NEW HUSBAND AND WE JUST MOVED INTO OUR NEW HOUSE !!!!!!!!

 **LOBSTER** : AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 **YELLS** : IM SO PROUD OF YOU GUYS 

**Scoops’ name has been changed to _Husband_ by King Han**

**Husband** : :,)

 **King Han** : dont be sappy i just changed it so ill rmbr it 

**Husband** : :,)

 **Fullstop** : You two are too cute!

 **Chinese Prince** : ya ok ill admit

 **Chinese Prince** : u guys are kinda cute

 **Stfu** : :|

 **Fullstop** : Jihoon loves you guys too.

 **Stfu** : ...no comment

 **Husband** : hoon ur so soft aw

 **Stfu** : *ure

 **Stfu** : how many times do i have to correct u smh

 **Dab8** : ive got the wedding vids

 **Dab8** : ill email it to you

 **Dinosaur** : why email

 **Dinosaur** : thats so old 

**Dinosaur** : u should send it by bird instead!

 **Dab8** : i-

 **Dab8** : i dont understand???

 **King Han** : thanks hao

 **Dab8** : whats your email again hyung

 **King Han** : ill pm it to you

 **Dab8** : smh just say it here 

**King Han** : no

 **Dab8** : just say it hurry 

**King Han** : ,,,,,,,,,

 **King Han** : jeonghanthesexybeast@gmail.com 

**Slander** : :0

 **Santa** : can someone scoop my eyes out

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : oh my 

**Chinese Prince** : :O

 **KIMBAP** : thats so wild

 **King Han** : im not embarrassed

 **Husband** : then why r u hiding your face in my sleeve

 **Dab8** : exposed

 **King Han** : …….just hurry and send it

 **Dab8** : lol ok

 **Fullstop** : How is everyone this fine morning?

 **Slander** : g00d

 **Stfu** : fuck not again

 **Dinosaur** : we lit as shit

 **Fullstop** : Yeha?

 **Fullstop** : *Yeah?

 **Fullstop** : Hehe, yeehaw.

 **Dab8** : this is so peculiar

 **LOBSTER** : wha

 **KIMBAP** : wild

 **YELLS** : waddis

 **Dinosaur** : everyone says yeehaw, but no one says haw yee :(

 **King Han** : somehow that made sense,,,,,,

 **Dinosaur** : thanks

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : does anyone wanna offer up their house for me to crash till christmas

 **YELLS** : why

 **LOBSTER** : why

 **KIMBAP** : why

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : mingyu has been playing mariah carey and michael buble for the two weeks straight and i need to leave now

 **Santa** : ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : please

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : im begging someone please

 **Santa** : what do you mean you hate it :(

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : christmas is so far away why are you playing it now 

**KIMBAP** : UHHHH SAY WHAT 

**YELLS** : CHRISTMAS IS SOON

 **LOBSTER** : A MAN GOTTA PREPARE

 **Santa** : HELL YEAH

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : no

 **King Han** : I don’t want a lot for christmas

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : what

 **Husband** : theres just one thing i need

 **Dab8** : i dont care about the presents

 **Dinosaur** : underneath the christmas tree

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : no no no no

 **Chinese Prince** : i just want you for my own

 **Fullstop** : More than you will ever know. 

**Slander** : make my wish come truuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuUUUUUUUe

 **Stfu** : all i want for christmas

 **Santa** : IS YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUU

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : i dont believe this smh i cant trust any of you now

 **YELLS** : I DONT WANT A LOT FOR CHRISTMAS

 **LOBSTER** : THERES JUST ONNNNNNEE THING I NEED

 **KIMBAP** : I DONT CARE ABOUT THE PRESENTS

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : ….underneath the christmas tree

 **Chinese Prince** : UNDERNEATH THE CHRISTMAS TREE

 **Chinese Prince** : damnit wonwoo

 **Chinese Prince** : u fucked it up

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : nah 

**C00l beans C00l jeans** : you fucked it up

 **Dinosaur** : tbh its more thanksgiving than christmas JUST SAYING DONT HURT ME

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : !! thanksgiving!!!

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : i love thanksgiving lets celebrate that now

 **Slander** : can we not please

 **Slander** : i hate thanksgiving

 **Dinosaur** : OH YEAH HANSOL HYUNG HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHA

 **Santa** : wait what happened last thanksgiving

 **Fullstop** : Were you not there?

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : oh we werent there for thanksgiving bc we went to stay the night at the hotel for our second anniversary last year

 **Chinese Prince** : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **Santa** : jun hyung no

 **Chinese Prince** : jun hyung yes

 **King Han** : HA last years thanksgiving was so fun 

**KIMBAP** : NO IT WASNT I HATED IT

 **Stfu** : it was fucking funny

 **YELLS** : it truly was

 **Santa** : ????? what happened last year tho

 **Dinosaur** : lol im just gonna say it

 **KIMBAP** : NO 

**Slander** : NO

 **LOBSTER** : YES

 **Dinosaur** : basically seungkwan hyung cooked all the food bc u werent there to cook it for us

 **Dinosaur** : and he made this huge ass turkey im talking COLOSSAL size turkey and seungkwan hyung was kinda eating literally all of it

 **Dinosaur** : and then hansol hyung was kinda staring at him with the wtf face 

**Dinosaur** : so hansol hyung was like “r u really gonna take that fourth plate of food’

 **LOBSTER** : CAN I TELL THIS PART

 **LOBSTER** : OKAY SO

 **LOBSTER** : AND THEN SEUNGKWAN KINDA SNAPPED AND WENT

 **LOBSTER** : ‘ILL STOP TAKING FOOD WHEN I HIT YOUR WEIGHT’

 **Santa** : OH MY GOD

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : SEUNGKWAN

 **KIMBAP** : if its any consolation i felt bad and apologised afterward

 **Santa** : HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA SO YOU JUST CALLED HIM FAT AND CONTINUED EATING

 **Slander** : it was not a pleasant experience

 **KIMBAP** : LOOK I THOUGHT HE WAS CALLING ME FAT 

**C00l beans C00l jeans** : and so you called him fat back

 **KIMBAP** : ya

 **Santa** : good job

 **Stfu** : so are we gon have another thanksgiving dinner tnite or not

 **Husband** : sure you guys can come to our new house !!!!!!

 **Dinosaur** : YAY

 **Dab8** : what we gonna eat tho

 **Chinese Prince** : ill be servin looks tonight ;)

 **Dab8** : someone better bring actual food

 **Dab8** : we gon starve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you guys wanna see anything in the next chapter, comment it down below !! and if you'd like to see some behind the scenes and mediocre levels of funni-ness from my brain, follow me on twitter at [@djeiisaa](https://twitter.com/djeiisaa) !! please dm me as well !! i'd love to talk to and make friends with all of you lovely readers ♡♡
> 
> also ps jeonghanthesexybeast@gmail.com is a real email i just created it idk why but you can also send me emails (not by bird !!) and ill read them idk why i set it up but i did


	19. Split Your Knuckles and Bruise Your Cheeks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE READ BEGINNING NOTES BEFORE YOU READ THIS CHAPTER
> 
>  
> 
>  **Chinese Prince** : no we werent attcking you for that
> 
>  **Dab8** : we were attacking u for ur meme usage
> 
>  **Fullstop** : !!
> 
>  **Chinese Prince** : YOU COMPLETE ME MINGHAO
> 
>  **Dab8** : i complete your sentences now sit down 
> 
> **Chinese Prince** : AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH <3<3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> now guys ::::: **PLEASE READ !!!!**
> 
> there is a mention of a homophobic slur in here. if you arent comfortable with it, please skip this chapter. a bulk of this chapter contains a very heavy topic, read with caution and please read the end notes to know why i wrote it like this

**My Family**

 

 **Slander** : *plugs nose* 

**Slander** : *mic noise*

 **Chinese Prince** : wot m8

 **Slander** : MAY I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE

 **Slander** : MAY I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE

 **Husband** : huh

 **Slander** : WILL THE REAL SLIM SHADY PLEASE STAND UP

 **Slander** : I REPEAT

 **Slander** : WILL THE REAL SLIM SHADY PLEASE STAND UP

 **Slander** : WE GON HAVE A PROBLEM HERE

 **Fullstop** : Y’all act like you’ve never seen a white person before!

 **LOBSTER** : omg jisoo hyung knows the song

 **Fullstop** : Uh, j’yeah! I don’t live under a rock, Soonyoung!

 **Chinese Prince** : every time hyung speaks in meme format i die a lil bit inside

 **Dab8** : jisoo hyung no 

**Chinese Prince** : my heart has been healed

 **Chinese Prince** : HI MINGHAO ♡♡♡

 **Dab8** : hi

 **Dinosaur** : whipped as fuCCCCCCCCCC

 **Chinese Prince** : ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

 **Dinosaur** : proves my point perfectly

 **King Han** : hello pheasants

 **LOBSTER** : do u mean peasants

 **King Han** : no

 **YELLS** : ok

 **King Han** : hows everyone doing this fine morning

 **KIMBAP** : its 9pm

 **King Han** : ok fuck off

 **King Han** : is everyone tryna attack me today ??????????

 **Fullstop** : Jeonghan, I get you. They were ‘attacking’ me for knowing The Real Slim Shady. 

**Chinese Prince** : no we werent attcking you for that

 **Dab8** : we were attacking u for ur meme usage

 **Fullstop** : !!

 **Chinese Prince** : YOU COMPLETE ME MINGHAO

 **Dab8** : i complete your sentences now sit down 

**Chinese Prince** : AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH <3<3

 **Husband** : btw where is hoon and gyu and wonwoo

 **Stfu** : im here

 **Husband** : HELLO

 **Stfu** : i just prefer not to talk to people i dont really care about 

**Husband** : sometimes you make me feel dirty for opening my mouth

 **Stfu** : my goal has been achieved

 **King Han** : i think we all know that although hoon seems like he hates us

 **King Han** : he secretly loves us the most 

**LOBSTER** : hyung 

**LOBSTER** : u late to the party

 **King Han** : damn

 **Stfu** : whatever helps you sleep at night

 **YELLS** : but seriously where are gyu and wonwoo hyung ????? 

**KIMBAP** : did wonwoo hyung throw all of gyu hyung’s christmas cds out

 **LOBSTER** : lol

 **YELLS** : lol

 **KIMBAP** : lol

 **Chinese Prince** : oh well whatever

 **Chinese Prince** : leave them to whatever theyre doing ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **Dinosaur** : tbh knowing them

 **Dinosaur** : theyre probably knitting together

 **Slander** : sadly that sounds like it could happen

 **Fullstop** : Why is that sad?

 **King Han** : dis why u single

 **Stfu** : do you guys know where to go when im here ??

 **Slander** : wot

 **YELLS** : hyung where u at

 **Stfu** : fuck sorry wrong gc 

**Chinese Prince** : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **Stfu** : fuck off

 **Santa** : can someone pick me up?

 **King Han** : gyu?

 **Santa** : can someone please pick me up please

 **Dab8** : yo whas goin on

 **Santa** : please please please

 **Fullstop** : Where are you? I’m coming. 

**Santa** : the police station next to the han river

 **Santa** : please come quickly im scared

 **Fullstop** : I’ll be there as soon as possible

 **Husband** : yo whats going on

 **KIMBAP** : is everything ok ???????

 **YELLS** : oh my god oh my god oh my god 

**LOBSTER** : wait

 **LOBSTER** : wheres wonwoo

 **Chinese Prince** : wonwoo was with mingyu for date night

 **Stfu** : oh fuck

 **Fullstop** : Wait for me, okay Gyu?

 **Santa** : please hurry

 **Dinosaur** : i hope everything is okay

 

**My Family**

 

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : i am so sorry for the worry ive caused

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : and thank you jisoo hyung 

**LOBSTER** : yo dude what happened

 **Chinese Prince** : is everything alright?

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : i got arrested because i hit some guy

 **Stfu** : you hit a dude???

 **Stfu** : wtf why

 **King Han** : let him explain jihoon

 **Stfu** : im sorry

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : i was out on my date with Mingyu and we were holding hands and we were walking along han river

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : and he said something and i kissed him

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : and some son of a bitch called him a faggot and i tried to ignore him but he kept calling mingyu a faggot over and over again so i punched him

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : and i got arrested

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : i am very sorry that i have caused so much worry. I hope you all can forgive me

 **Husband** : oh wonwoo

 **King Han** : we dont blame you wonwoo dont worry

 **Chinese Prince** : we’re just glad youre safe

 **Dab8** : are you okay? Is mingyu okay?

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : im alright

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : gyu is sleeping next to me

 **Slander** : oh dear hyung

 **Dinosaur** : we’re so sorry

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : it’s alright

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : i think im going to sleep now

 **KIMBAP** : rest well hyung

 **YELLS** : rest well hyung

 **LOBSTER** : rest well won

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : thank you

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : goodnight

 

**Private Message with Yoon Jeonghan**

 

 **Jeon Wonwoo** : hyung? You awake?

 **Yoon Jeonghan** : yeah wonwoo?

 **Jeon Wonwoo** : could we talk for a bit?

 **Yoon Jeonghan** : of course 

**Jeon Wonwoo** : do you think i fucked up my relationship with mingyu

 **Yoon Jeonghan** : what makes you think that?

 **Yoon Jeonghan** : you literally fought for him, if that doesnt convey that you love him so much i dont know what does

 **Jeon Wonwoo** : when jisoo hyung brought me out, mingyu was sitting outside on the steps in the cold and wouldnt talk to me the whole ride home

 **Yoon Jeonghan** : you said that he’s sleeping next to you right now right

 **Jeon Wonwoo** : when we got home he just lay down in bed and i sat in the living room for a bit

 **Jeon Wonwoo** : and i went into the bedroom and held him and he didnt move

 **Yoon Jeonghan** : are you still holding him?

 **Jeon Wonwoo** : yeah

 **Yoon Jeonghan** : then i think it should be fine. he still lets you hold him

 **Jeon Wonwoo** : i guess

 **Yoon Jeonghan** : wonwoo, dont beat yourself up about this

 **Yoon Jeonghan** : that person is a dick and deserved all the punches you gave

 **Jeon Wonwoo** : i broke his jaw

 **Yoon Jeonghan** : he deserved that

 **Yoon Jeonghan** : are you hurt?

 **Jeon Wonwoo** : my knuckles split open but theyll heal soon

 **Yoon Jeonghan** : look, i know mingyu, he loves you so much and i know you love him as much as he does

 **Yoon Jeonghan** : you fought for him with a good intention

 **Yoon Jeonghan** : he was probably just very shaken up by your arrest won, poor boy hasnt seen anyone get arrested before. he was probably just very overwhelmed

 **Yoon Jeonghan** : talk to him tomorrow when he wakes up, dont worry about it

 **Jeon Wonwoo** : okay

 **Jeon Wonwoo** : i hear him sniffling

 **Yoon Jeonghan** : better go tend to your mingyu

 **Yoon Jeonghan** : get some sleep okay?

 **Jeon Wonwoo** : okay

 **Jeon Wonwoo** : thank you hyung

 **Yoon Jeonghan** : anytime wonwoo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im so sorry about the very heavy topic of this chapter. before you all proceed, let me explain why i wrote it. 
> 
> one of my close friends was in this situation where she was called homophobic slurs by strangers just by holding hands with her significant other. she has been deeply hurt by it but has allowed me to write about it to educate you all about this. i decided to write about it because i think that it is important to know that people WILL be negative and mean and hurtful and it really fucking sucks. but please, rise above them and don't listen to people like these. they just do this to get your attention, so if you pay no attention to them, they will stop. it is also essential to educate people about social matters, for example what words are derogatory. educate as many people as you can and make the world a more inclusive, less discriminatory and a generally happier place. and i promise that the next chapter will be more lighthearted. thank you for reading and have a good day !!


	20. Punday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Dinosaur** : does anyone find it funny that whenever someone starts a convo here
> 
>  **Dinosaur** : literally EVERYONE comes on to talk
> 
>  **Dinosaur** : and when someone doesnt come on for like 5 mins we all assume something is off
> 
>  **Dinosaur** : its like we have nothing to do but sit around and wait for each other to text
> 
>  **LOBSTER** : thats my little boy
> 
>  **YELLS** : spittin TRUTH
> 
>  **Fullstop** : With the exception of Jihoon, because even if he doesn’t reply us, we know he’s still here reading our messages. 
> 
> **Stfu** : that isnt true
> 
>  **Fullstop** : Proves my point perfectly. :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is the longest chapter yet be prepared for bad pickup lines

**My Family**

 

 **Santa** : yall im so presSED

 **Santa** : some biTCH ate all the cookies

 **Santa** : which hoe came over last night and ate all the cookies sqUARE UP BITCH DYU WANNA GO

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : that bitch is me

 **Santa** : ON DATE NIGHT WITH ME BECAUSE I LOVE YOU FOREVER AND EVER

 **King Han** : i guess youre okay now gyu

 **Santa** : ok that was the past

 **KIMBAP** : it was like less than 12hrs ago

 **Santa** : how would u feel if ur hansol got arrested for protecting you

 **KIMBAP** : shit u got a point

 **Santa** : das right

 **Chinese Prince** : so you just slept your anger off

 **Santa** : eh kinda

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : he woke me up this morning by pummelling my chest bc it started snowing last night

 **Husband** : ah i get that

 **Husband** : the presence of snow makes all your anger melt away

 **Santa** : u get me

 **Santa** : LOOK I JUST LOVE SNOW AND IM SO EXCITED FOR CHRISTMAS OK STOP THIS SLANDER

 **Slander** : hello i am here

 **Dab8** : ill applaud you

 **Dinosaur** : does anyone find it funny that whenever someone starts a convo here

 **Dinosaur** : literally EVERYONE comes on to talk

 **Dinosaur** : and when someone doesnt come on for like 5 mins we all assume something is off

 **Dinosaur** : its like we have nothing to do but sit around and wait for each other to text

 **LOBSTER** : thats my little boy

 **YELLS** : spittin TRUTH

 **Fullstop** : With the exception of Jihoon, because even if he doesn’t reply us, we know he’s still here reading our messages. 

**Stfu** : that isnt true

 **Fullstop** : Proves my point perfectly. :)

 **Chinese Prince** : not to take away the spotlight from jihoon

 **Chinese Prince** : but im gonna do it anyway

 **Dab8** : thats,,,,,,,my boyfriend

 **Santa** : omg

 **King Han** : OMG

 **YELLS** : O M G 

**LOBSTER** : OH MY GOD D

 **Chinese Prince** : OH MY GOD DUDJTVCDYJCH

 **Chinese Prince** : EVERYONE SCREENSHOT THAT AND SEND IT TO ME 

**Chinese Prince** : MAKE SURE I NEVER FORGET THSI

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : so what were u gonna say tho

 **Chinese Prince** : FUCK I DONT REMEMBER I CANT THINK THIS IS ALL ILL BE THINKIG OF FOR THE RES T OF M LIFE

 **Chinese Prince** : IM SO BLESS ED

 **Dab8** : im so shamed

 **Husband** : clam down junhui

 **Fullstop** : Clam. 

**Husband** : i meant what i said 

**Dab8** : k hyung 

**King Han** : ah ive got something to say 

**Stfu** : what

 **King Han** : today is pun day dont question it

 **KIMBAP** : why

 **King Han** : bc i say so 

**Dinosaur** : but i dont wanna do it

 **King Han** : ,,,,,,,,,, i dont believe this

 **King Han** : my own child, rebelling against me

 **King Han** : what has my life come to

 **Husband** : cmon chan itll be fun 

**Stfu** : not you too

 **Husband** : im assuming everyone is playing except chan

 **King Han** : chan is playing

 **Dinosaur** : i have no choice so i guess so 

**Husband** : great

 **Stfu** : im not playing 

**LOBSTER** : JIHOON IS PLAYING 

**Stfu** : no, no im not

 **Husband** : ok so everyone is playing

 **Santa** : FUN !!!!!!!

 **Chinese Prince** : how do we play

 **King Han** : bASICALLY we gotta say the worst puns we can think of and then we vote on the best punner

 **King Han** : and then the best punner gets treated to 12 separate lunches or dinners by all of us 

**Dab8** : I DIDNT AGREE TO BUYING THIS PERSON FOOD

 **Stfu** : neither did i count me out

 **YELLS** : cmon guys this will be fUN

 **Santa** : YEAH

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : do i have to play

 **Santa** : yes

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : okay

 **King Han** : ok no food for them

 **King Han** : but the prize will be secret till we end

 **King Han** : DEAL?

 **Dab8** : k 

**Fullstop** : Sure!

 **Stfu** : whatever

 **KIMBAP** : YEAH DEAL

 **King Han** : LETS START

 **King Han** : cheollie 

**King Han** : its good i brought my library card today

 **King Han** : bc im totally checking you out

 **Dinosaur** : EEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

 **Stfu** : you guys are literally married

 **Husband** : jeonghannie

 **Husband** : can u take me to a bakery

 **Husband** : i want a cutiepie like you 

**Dab8** : i physically recoiled at that

 **KIMBAP** : HANSOL 

**Slander** : yo

 **KIMBAP** : do u have a mirror in your pants

 **KIMBAP** : bc i can see myself in them 

**Dinosaur** : IM TOO YOUNG IM TOO YOUNG

 **Dinosaur** : WHY IS EVERYTHING X RATED UDKTVJUFV

 **Slander** : im no organ donor but i gave you my heart

 **KIMBAP** : AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 **Fullstop** : I’ve got one! I’ll just direct it in general. 

**Fullstop** : Look at my shirt. It’s made out of boyfriend material.

 **Husband** : i mean …. Only if you didnt use proper punctuation

 **King Han** : good try shua 

**Fullstop** : :)

 **Dinosaur** : AH IVE GOT IT 

**Dinosaur** : your daddy must be a drug dealer, cuz you’re dope.

 **King Han** : chan no 

**Dinosaur** : CHAN Y E S 

**Chinese Prince** : HAOHAO ♡♡♡♡♡

 **Dab8** : well fuck

 **Chinese Prince** : Cool cars are fast, My heart is too, But that only happens when im around you

 **YELLS** : DID HYUNG JUST WRITE A POEM 

**YELLS** : AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH THATS SO CUUTE IUETIFTVJDVTFJ

 **Dab8** : ok that was a bit cute

 **Dab8** : but get this

 **Dab8** : are you illegal

 **Dab8** : bc WEED be good together

 **Chinese Prince** : I ACTUALLY MIGHT START CRYING

 **Dab8** : idk whether to cry or cringe at myself

 **Stfu** : ya you dont need to cry or cringe at yourself bc we’re all doing it for you already

 **LOBSTER** : SEOKMINNIE 

**YELLS** : YYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAS

 **LOBSTER** : DID YOU DIE RECENTLY BECAUSE YOURE AN ANGEL

 **YELLS** : oh hyung 

**YELLS** : you know i only died because i cut myself on your sharp gaze 

**LOBSTER** : SEOKMIN

 **YELLS** : SOONYOUNG 

**LOBSTER** : ♡♡

 **YELLS** : ♡♡

 **Santa** : WONWOO !!!!

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : yeah

 **Santa** : i might be left handed but ill treat you right

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : that was so bad gyu

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : luckily ive got one for you

 **Slander** : OH Y GOD 

**C00l beans C00l jeans** : solve this 9x - 7i > 3(3x-7u) 

**Chinese Prince** : only wonwoo would bring maths into flirting

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : shut up junnie

 **Chinese Prince** : ONLY HAO IS ALLOWED TO CALL ME THAT BACK OFF

 **Santa** : I LOVE MATHS LEMME SOLVE

 **Santa** : i < 3u 

**King Han** : thatwassosmoothwtf

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : part of my charm

 **LOBSTER** : omg you sound like mingyu now

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : fuck really 

**Santa** : AHHHHHH I <3 U TOO 

**Fullstop** : I vote for Wonwoo!

 **YELLS** : I DO TOO

 **King Han** : i guess we have a winner

 **Slander** : wait

 **Slander** : jihoon hyung didnt give any

 **Stfu** : thanks for exposing me hansol

 **Husband** : we have to hear jihoons otherwise it isnT FAIR

 **Chinese Prince** : JIHOON GO 

**Stfu** : why

 **Santa** : HYUNG GO 

**Stfu** : no 

**C00l beans C00l jeans** : jihoon go 

**Stfu** : no 

**Dinosaur** : hyyuuuuuuung cmon its fUN

 **Stfu** : why 

**Dinosaur** : HYUNG HURRY UP

 **Stfu** : I CANT THINK OF ANY GOOD ONES

 **YELLS** : just say whatever comes to mind

 **LOBSTER** : come on hoon 

**Stfu** : FINE

 **Stfu** : do you have a name or can i call you mine

 **Stfu** : ……

 **Santa** : JIHOON HYUNG WINS HAHAH

 **LOBSTER** : I VOTE FOR JIHOON

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : i vote for jihoon too

 **Chinese Prince** : LOL JIHOON

 **Dab8** : junnie and i vote for jihoon hyung

 **Dinosaur** : ME TOO !!

 **YELLS** : ME TOO

 **KIMBAP** : ME AND HANSOL TOO LOLOLOLOLOL

 **Fullstop** : Hahahaha, me too!

 **Stfu** : what

 **King Han** : OH WELL JIHOON WINS

 **Stfu** : is this rigged

 **Husband** : yes 

**King Han** : i messaged everyone to vote for you to win

 **Stfu** : wtf

 **King Han** : anyway yOU WIN

 **Stfu** : whats my prize 

**King Han** : YOUR PRIZE IS drumroll please

 **Husband** : drumrOLLLLLLLLLL

 **King Han** : A COOKING CLASS WITH ME AND SEUNGCHEOL

 **Dab8** : LOL

 **Stfu** : WHAT

 **King Han** : TWO WHOLE HOURS OF FUN AND CULINARY GOODNESS WITH ME AND SEUNGCHEOL TOMORROW AFTERNOON

 **Stfu** : i dont want to 

**Stfu** : im not free tf

 **King Han** : ive cleared out your calendar yoURE FREE NOW

 **Stfu** : what how

 **Husband** : dont ask just do 

**Stfu** : so ive gotta spend 2 hrs with you guys, cooking…..

 **King Han** : YES ISNT THAT FUN

 **Stfu** : fuck 

**C00l beans C00l jeans** : im so glad i didnt win

 **Chinese Prince** : you didnt win bc yours was lame as fuck

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : hyungs

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : bring him along

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry it was kinda boring jishkjtvjhtvf but im planning for a plot for the next chapter !! so look out for that !! this was just a little fun filler chapter filled with bad puns and i hope you guys like it :,,)
> 
> ALSO, follow me on twitter if you wanna !! i occasionally post behind the scenes of my writing and yell about joshua hong so if you wanna, follow [@djeiisaa](https://twitter.com/djeiisaa) !! come and talk to me !! i love talking to people :,)


	21. Ancient Emperor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **YELLS** : WHAT WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT
> 
> **KIMBAP** : ARE YOU TRYING TO TEAR THIS FAMILY APART
> 
> **Husband** : kids calm down let minghao explain
> 
> **Dab8** : he isnt needed in this chat for now
> 
> **Husband** : ARE YOU TRYING TO TEAR THIS FAMILY APART

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> christmas present ideas and inappropriate jokes, ah i love the holidays also SORRY FOR NOT POSTING ON TIME and i hope you guys will enjoy this chapter :,,)

**My Family**

 

**Dinosaur** : hey did u guys know goats have rectangular pupils instead of round ones

**Santa** : ye

**Stfu** : what do i do with this information 

**Dinosaur** : its now in your brain

**Stfu** : ok thanks for that

**Chinese Prince has been removed from the chat**

**Slander** : wot

**King Han** : FINALLY

**King Han** : i mean whatttttt why ?????

**Dab8** : i removed him

**LOBSTER** : HOOOOOOOOOOOLY CHEESE

**YELLS** : WHAT WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT

**KIMBAP** : ARE YOU TRYING TO TEAR THIS FAMILY APART

**Husband** : kids calm down let minghao explain

**Dab8** : he isnt needed in this chat for now

**Husband** : ARE YOU TRYING TO TEAR THIS FAMILY APART

**C00l beans C00l jeans** : can everyone just chill

**Santa** : das my man

**C00l beans C00l jeans** : cool

**Fullstop** : Why did you remove Junhui?

**Dab8** : so basically you know christmas is coming

**Santa** : HELL YEAH

**Dab8** : i wanted to get him a present but i dunno what to get him and im stressed and in dire need of your help

**Stfu** : get him a sock 

**Stfu** : a singular sock

**Stfu** : he will be happy 

**Dab8** : no wtf

**Stfu** : yes wtf

**C00l beans C00l jeans** : junhui’s been talking about how he misses china

**C00l beans C00l jeans** : get him something chinese i guess

**Dab8** : like what ???? chinese takeout ?????

**Slander** : not to be weird or anything

**Slander** : but minghao hyung is chinese ,,,,,,,

**Fullstop** : Vernon! That was really inappropriate! 

**Slander** : IM JUST SAYING 

**Slander** : JUST A THOUGHT

**KIMBAP** : UH NEXT TIME REMEMBER TO FILTER YOUR THOUGHTS

**LOBSTER** : ewwwww hansol 

**YELLS** : you are so WILD

**Slander** : now youve all made it nsfw

**King Han** : what was it meant to be then

**Slander** : like

**Slander** : not nsfw

**Santa** : good play hansol

**Dab8** : what do u expect me to do ???????? wait till he comes home and surprise him in an ancient emperor costume ????????

**King Han** : i mean if cheol did that for me

**King Han** : i wouldnt not be intrigued

**Slander** : EWWWWWWWW

**Fullstop** : Jeonghan! Not you too!

**Dab8** : ya no im not doing that

**Dab8** : thanks for the great mental image hyung 

**King Han** : no problemo

**C00l beans C00l jeans** : you might want to get him something sentimental? like write a card or do a big gesture that would touch him

**Stfu** : is that what u and mingyu do 

**Dab8** : ew im not giving him a card for christmas thats so boring

**Santa** : HEY

**Santa** : I GAVE WONWOO A CARD FOR CHRISTMAS LAST YEAR AND HE LOVED IT 

**Dab8** : since u said u did it

**Dab8** : i stand by my statement

**Dab8** : CAN SOMEONE HELP ME PLS

**Dab8** : JIHOON HYUNG !! I SEE YOU READING 

**Dab8** : HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING !!

**Stfu** : my what

**Dab8** : night

**Stfu** : ok goodnight

**Dab8** : NO

**Dab8** : PLEASE HYUNG 

**Dinosaur** : According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black.

**Dinosaur** : damn that didnt finish sending 

**Fullstop** : I love The Bee Movie! Barry B. Benson is my favourite bee character of all time!

**KIMBAP** : oh shua hyung no 

**Fullstop** : I mean, do you have another favourite bee character of all time? 

**KIMBAP** : uh ya

**KIMBAP** : queen b 

**C00l beans C00l jeans** : did u just call beyonce an insect 

**Dab8** : PLEASE EVERYONE I AM SO DESPERATE RIGHT NOW 

**Dinosaur** : i know

**Dinosaur** : do you have time to travel?

**Dab8** : i guess so ? but not the money

**Dinosaur** : well i might just have the plan for you !

**Dinosaur** : i just got free 3 day plane tickets through the mail to shenzhen in china!!! isnt that where junhui hyung was from?

**Dab8** : omg what yeah

**Dinosaur** : you can have the tickets :,)

**Husband** : why did you get free plane tickets

**Dinosaur** : i was playing sudoku online and i accidentally clicked on an ad and BOOM free plane ticket just by watching a 30s ad

**YELLS** : OMG I WANT ONE TOO

**Dinosaur** : i only have two tho, but theyre return tickets as well so thats good

**Dab8** : you would give the tickets to me?

**Dinosaur** : yeah! n u go back to shenzhen and find his parents and find out where in there he loves the most and take a small thing from each place like a pebble from where he grew up or smthg

**Dab8** : CHAN YOU ARE A BABY GENIUS

**Dinosaur** : IM 18

**Dab8** : come with me then

**Dinosaur** : i hate flying thats why im giving them to u so no thanks

**Dab8** : u the best chan 

**Dab8** : does anyone wanna come w me for a 3 day trip to shenzhen

**Santa** : M E 

**Dab8** : anyone but you

**C00l beans C00l jeans** : please take him

**Santa** : TAKE ME PLE A SE

**Dab8** : fine

**Santa** : YYYYYYYAAAAAAAAYYYYYYY

**Dab8** : now everyone shut up abt this ok im adding junhui back 

**YELLS** : WOWOW YOURE DROPPING THE HONOURIFICS ALREADY

**LOBSTER** : YOU GUYS MUST BE REALLY OFFICIAL

**Dab8** : stop

**Dab8** : now keep my secret ok

**Chinese Prince has been added into the chat**

**KIMBAP** : DONT WORRY MINGHAO HYUNG WE WONT TELL

**Chinese Prince** : tell what

**KIMBAP** : fuck

**Dab8** : goodbye world

**Chinese Prince** : why did you take me out haohao :,( 

**Dab8** : u werent needed

**YELLS** : MOTHER OF BURNS WHOOP THERE IT IS

**Chinese Prince** : you always need me :,,,)

**King Han has been removed from the chat**

**KIMBAP** : WHOMST THE FUCK

**Husband** : it was me i need a gift idea now shoot at me

**Stfu** : get him a singular sock

**Dab8** : really 

**Stfu** : yes

**Stfu** : if any one of you got me a sock for my present, i would be happy 

**LOBSTER** : INEXPENSIVE GIFT WOOHOO

**Husband** : not a sock

**Fullstop** : Seungcheol, think about it. A pair of socks with Jeonghan’s face all over it!

**Husband** : a real genius

**Fullstop** : So it’s not just a singular sock, it’s twice the fun and twice the Jeonghans!

**Husband** : i need to find a sock supplier

**Husband** : im adding han back in no one say anything

**King Han has been added into the chat**

**Chinese Prince** : anything

**Dab8** : what

**Chinese Prince** : he said not to say anything

**Husband** : JUNHUI 

**Chinese Prince** : wot m8

**King Han** : i would LOVE A PAIR OF SOCKS WITH MY FACE ON THEM

**Husband** : WHAT 

**Husband** : HOW DID YOU KNOW

**King Han** : firstly, i can see over your shoulder cheol

**King Han** : secondly, i got my info from seokmin

**YELLS** : ITS NOT MY FAULT

**LOBSTER** : min how could you

**YELLS** : I WAS BRIBED AND THREATENED

**King Han** : i offered him a whole box of oreos and he said ok

**LOBSTER** : AH now thats understandable

**Santa** : i would also comply if i were in his situation

**C00l beans C00l jeans** : nice now u can leave

**Santa** : what

**Santa was removed from the chat**

**Stfu** : let me guess

**Stfu** : u need christmas present ideas and we help you

**C00l beans C00l jeans** : nah ive already got my present for him i just wanted to share it

**Slander** : what did u get

**C00l beans C00l jeans** : i got him a scarf

**Chinese Prince** : that seems normal

**C00l beans C00l jeans** : that i knitted myself

**Chinese Prince** : found the abnormality

**C00l beans C00l jeans** : because i want him to know that my heart is warm for him 

**KIMBAP** : AHHHHHHHH THATS SO CHEESY SIDUFTJDTVJYTJ

**Dab8** : and now im lactose intolerant 

**Dinosaur** : are u adding mingyu hyung back since u alr told us

**Dab8** : yknow what

**Dab8** : just wait a little bit longer

**Dab8** : its so peaceful in here

**Santa has been added into the chat**

**Santa** : HELLO IM BACK

**Husband** : peace has been disrupted

**C00l beans C00l jeans** : gyu who added you back in??

**YELLS** : you didnt?

**C00l beans C00l jeans** : nope

**C00l beans C00l jeans** : did anyone add gyu in?

**Husband** : no

**King Han** : no

**Fullstop** : No.

**Chinese Prince** : no

**LOBSTER** : no

**Stfu** : no

**YELLS** : no

**Dab8** : no 

**KIMBAP** : no

**Slander** : no

**Dinosaur** : no

**Santa** : :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have nothing to say jsjsjsjjs
> 
> OH WAIT I DO
> 
> i was wondering whether anyone wanted to be in a seventeen rp chat with me? if you do or have any questions, feel free to tweet me or pm me on twitter [@djeiisaa](https://twitter.com/djeiisaa) !! (plug)
> 
> but yeah i hope you liked this chapter and thank you for all your support on this :,,,) it really means a whole lot ♡


	22. Project Change Chan's Screen Name

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Stfu** : shua hyung why
> 
>  **Chinese Prince** : no one’s said XD unironically for years hyung
> 
>  **Chinese Prince** : wyd
> 
>  **Dab8** : tbh knowing shua hyung 
> 
> **Dab8** : he probably went to borrow a book on slang from the library
> 
>  **Fullstop** : Why yes, Minghao! I did! And the book was pretty lit!
> 
>  **Dab8** : should i be happy i was right or sad because i was

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this bitch UPDATED ??????? ARE MY EYES DECEIVING ME ????
> 
> ive been havin really bad writers block for three months when it comes to this fic and im so sorry guys :(((( but IM BACK and will TRY to update more regularly :,) i miss this 
> 
> ps sorry if it kinda sucks., i needa get back into the Swing of things

**My Family**

 

 **Chinese Prince** : wassup losers

**Chinese Prince has been removed from the chat**

**Stfu** : thank god

 **Husband** : was that rlly necessary 

**King Han** : absolutely

 **YELLS** : HAPPY NEW YEAR GUYS

 **LOBSTER** : bb its march now

 **YELLS** : well its 2018 now

 **YELLS** : its been like a year since this has updated

 **Dab8** : since what has updated

 **YELLS** : this chatfic duh

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : wtf what chatfic

 **YELLS** : nvm

 **Dinosaur** : anyway WOW ! IT’S 2018 AND I STILL HAVENT HAD A NAME CHANGE SINCE THE BEGINNING ! SAVE ME !!! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

 **Stfu** : calm down small child

 **Dinosaur** : calm down tiny

 **KIMBAP** : OOOOOOOOO FUUFUFUUFUFUCCCKKCKCKC

 **Slander** : CHANNIE’S GONNA GET HIS ASS WH OPPE D 

**Slander** : TAKE CARE DEAR

 **Dinosaur** : jihoon hyung cant say anything :)

 **Fullstop** : How come?

 **Stfu** : chan shut up 

**Dinosaur** : then i shall :):):):)

 **Dab8** : this shit ominous as fuck

 **Chinese Prince** : like my love for you 

**Dab8** : that makes zero sense

 **Chinese Prince** : unlike my love for you

 **Husband** : that’s all cute and stuff but 

**King Han** : not as cute as me and cheollie

 **LOBSTER** : ,,,,hyungs that’s

 **YELLS** : called copying because

 **KIMBAP** : we started it 

**Fullstop** : Quick question, are you three next to each other at the moment?

 **KIMBAP** : nope

 **Fullstop** : Did you private message each other to plan out what you were going to say?

 **LOBSTER** : nop

 **Fullstop** : So you all just know what each other wanted to say and just typed it out?

 **YELLS** : yus

 **Fullstop** : You three never cease to amaze me. Hahahaha. 

**C00l beans C00l jeans** : i find it super unnerving that you still type with proper grammar and punctuation and shit 

**C00l beans C00l jeans** : like ???? who still types laughter with capitalisation and a full stop at the back 

**Stfu** : Hahahaha. 

**King Han** : Hahahaha. 

**Chinese Prince** : Hahahaha. 

**LOBSTER** : Hahahaha. 

**C00l beans C00l jeans** : well

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : time to claw out my own eyeballs

 **Santa** : DID SOMEONE SAY HAPPY NEW YEAR

 **Stfu** : hes back

 **YELLS** : I DID

 **Santa** : :D

 **Santa** : WELL IN THAT CASE

**Santa’s name has been changed to Mango by Mango**

**Mango** : NEW YEAR NEW ME

 **Mango** : or sometimes i like to say

 **Mango** : new year Nude me

 **Slander** : thats gross hyung

 **Mango** : :(

 **Slander** : but quite funny

 **Mango** : :D

 **Dinosaur** : hi not to sound self centered or wtv but i want a name change

 **Dab8** : not gonna lie 

**Dab8** : sounded pretty self centered to me

 **Dinosaur** : but i said ‘not to sound self centered’ 

**Dinosaur** : so that makes it NOT self centered

 **Mango** : oooooo well played

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : its really not 

**Husband** : whaddya wanna be called channie

 **Dinosaur** : idk tbh

 **Dinosaur** : somethin cooler than dinosaur

 **King Han** : what do you WANT CHAN PLS BE SPECIFIC

 **Dinosaur** : OKAY FINE HOW ABOUT SOMETHING CUTE

 **KIMBAP** : names ending with ie sounds are cute 

**LOBSTER** : YEAH like cookie and sweetie and baby and softie

 **Stfu** : and die

 **YELLS** : ..

 **Dinosaur** : jihoon hyung……..

 **Stfu** : okay sorry sorry

 **Dinosaur** : thanks

 **Chinese Prince** : what kinda fuck 

**Chinese Prince** : alternate universe have we entered where jihoon is apologising to chan

 **Stfu** : hey i apologise when im wrong

 **Husband** : not Really

 **LOBSTER** : I KNOW

 **LOBSTER** : HOW ABOUT DRAGON

 **Slander** : wat

 **LOBSTER** : it’s cuter than dinosaur

 **Mango** : oh sweetie it really isnt

 **LOBSTER** : ok quick question

 **LOBSTER** : when did gyu get this RUDE

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : thats my baby

 **Mango** : SHIT SORRY I DIDNT MEAN TO HURT YOUR FEELINGS HYUNG

 **LOBSTER** : THATS OKAY I FORGIVE YOU ♡♡

 **Mango** : THANKS HYUNG ♡♡

 **LOBSTER** : ♡♡

 **Mango** : ♡♡

**Dinosaur’s name has been changed to BangBang by King Han**

**King Han** : bc his nickname is bangchan 

**KIMBAP** : BANG BANG BY JESSIE J IS MY BITCH ANTHEM 

**Slander** : i can confirm that

 **Slander** : he doesnt even understand what theyre saying

 **Slander** : its funny to watch him try to sing it 

**King Han** : that is So Cute

 **King Han** : but cheol and i are cuter and Married

 **Chinese Prince** : hyung we get it

 **Husband** : hannie why do you always have to direct the attention to us

 **King Han** : because we are the Cutest

 **King Han** : and you are the most caring and loving dad to our eleven kids

 **BangBang** : what did you do cheol hyung

 **Husband** : well okay this Most Caring and Loving Dad has done something really nice for you kiddos

 **YELLS** : just give it to us straight

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : lol straight

 **Fullstop** : Sorry?

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : what

 **Fullstop** : Nevermind. 

**Fullstop** : By the way, I am the same age as the both of you, so I can’t be your child. 

**Fullstop** : XD

 **KIMBAP** : did he just 

**LOBSTER** : HYUNG IS TAINTED

 **Stfu** : shua hyung why

 **Chinese Prince** : no one’s said XD unironically for years hyung

 **Chinese Prince** : wyd

 **Dab8** : tbh knowing shua hyung 

**Dab8** : he probably went to borrow a book on slang from the library

 **Fullstop** : Why yes, Minghao! I did! And the book was pretty lit!

 **Dab8** : should i be happy i was right or sad because i was

 **Chinese Prince** : MY HAOHAO IS SO SMART HE GUESSED IT IN ONE TRY 

**Dab8** : junhui pls

 **Dab8** : stop

 **Chinese Prince** : okay love you

 **Dab8** : love you too

 **Husband** : BRING THE TOPIC BACK TO ME PLEASE

 **Husband** : shit i think ive been spending too much time with jeonghan im starting to type like him

 **King Han** : and thats a bad thing because

 **Husband** : NOTHING love you bb

 **Husband** : ANYWAY yeah so i went online to do some shopping or whatever and accidentally booked a whole theatre for the screening of The Greatest Showman for free

 **Mango** : why does everyone get free shit online except me

 **Chinese Prince** : yeah like chan and those tickets to Shenzhen

 **BangBang** : ya uh lol what a coincidence

 **HUSBAND** : ANYWAY im bringing all of you to go WATCH !!!!!!!!!

 **Slander** : HELL TO THE FUCK YES

 **Fullstop** : Hansol! Language!

 **Slander** : lol soz

 **Fullstop** : It’s called ‘skidaddle’ now! Use that expression instead!

 **KIMBAP** : uh

 **Mango** : hyung it’s never been skidaddle

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : even mingyu knows that

 **Chinese Prince** : this chat is fuckin gold

 **Chinese Prince** : i mean Skidaddled gold

**Fullstop’s name has been changed to Skidaddle by Chinese Prince**

**Chinese Prince** : here 

**Chinese Prince** : did yall a favour

 **Chinese Prince** : shua hyung

 **Skidaddle** : yes, Junhui?

 **Chinese Prince** : hope you look back and cringe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the greatest showman ref, i wrote that part a while back LOL but never got around to posting it sozzzzzzzz
> 
> as always, you guys can always reach out to me on twt [@djeiisaa](https://twitter.com/djeiisaa) and talk to me !! im looking for Cool Mutuals
> 
> again, ill try to update more regularly along with Dew but if i can't, please forgive me !! have a nice day kiddos and ill see yall soon


	23. Where are all these dead vines coming from?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER: full of dead vines and parks and rec quotes bc this bitch is Crazy and living in the past

**My Family**

 

 **Slander** : hello

 **Slander** : i think im gonna die pls save me 

**Slander** : shit guys im so scared 

**Slander** : please someone come online 

**Chinese Prince** : yo you good???

 **King Han** : hansol are you alright

 **Slander** : holy shit please he lp me 

**BangBang** : hyung?

 **Chinese Prince** : hansol calm down 

**Chinese Prince** : what is going on

 **Slander** : seungkwan

 **Chinese Prince** : is seungkwan home 

**Slander** : hes at my place rn 

**King Han** : okay so whats wrong 

**Skidaddle** : Is everything alright here?

 **Slander** : i think hes gone mad

 **Chinese Prince** : what the actual fuck 

**Skidaddle** : Junhui…

 **Chinese Prince** : what the actual skidaddle

 **Chinese Prince** : but literally what the fuck

 **Slander** : he hasnt spoken a single word to me 

**Slander** : thats not in reference to a vine 

**Slander** : and he gives 0 context whatsoever and it so ominous and holy shit am i gonna die 

**Slander** : im going to cry pls help

 **Dab8** : HAHA WHAT

 **Mango** : WHAT IS GOING ON

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : oh look seungkwan is typing

 **KIMBAP** : WHO’S THAT POKEMON

 **LOBSTER** : ITS PIKACHU

 **KIMBAP** : ITS CLEFAIRY

 **LOBSTER** : wait 

**LOBSTER** : SKIDADDLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE[fuck]

 **Skidaddle** : I’m so glad that you all are adhering to my slang!

 **Dab8** : he just-

 **Dab8** : yknow what nvm

 **Mango** : THIS IS AMAZING

 **YELLS** : that was Legitness

 **Stfu** : no no no 

**Stfu** : we are Not about to do this

 **Chinese Prince** : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **Mango** : les go to the beach beach 

**Mango** : ...Ninki Minjaj

 **BangBang** : hey mingyu hyung

 **BangBang** : is that a wEED

 **Mango** : no this is a crayon

 **BangBang** : IM CALLING THE POLICE

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : okay im sitting next to him and hes not holding any weed 

**C00l beans C00l jeans** : bc that illegal Dont Do Drugs Kids

 **KIMBAP** : lol hyung 

**C00l beans C00l jeans** : ???????????????

 **Dab8** : my friends and i love this dance called the naenae

 **Dab8** : so whenever we hit it, it gets pretty crazy

 **LOBSTER** : okay let me tell yalls a story

 **Husband** : i come here to soonyoung telling me a story

 **Husband** : kinda fishy

 **LOBSTER** : so im sittin there

 **LOBSTER** : barbeque sauce on my tiddies

 **Husband** : i fuckin called it

 **Dab8** : even tho i look like a Burnt Chicken Nugget

 **Dab8** : i still love myself

 **Skidaddle** : Ah! Hahaha, Minghao! 

**Skidaddle** : Yes, love yourself!

 **Stfu** : if one more person makes a vine reference

 **Stfu** : ill drop kick you to oblivion

 **Stfu** : i swear i will

 **Stfu** : i hate vines

 **Stfu** : theyre dead

 **Stfu** : leave them in 2015

 **YELLS** : jihoon hyung

 **YELLS** : jihoon hyung

 **YELLS** : jihoon hyung

 **YELLS** : watch the light dude

 **Stfu** : ????????? 

**Stfu** : what light

 **Stfu** : IS THAT A VINE REFERENCE

 

**Dab8 created one (1) chat: DONGSAENG + JUNHUI + SOONYOUNG HYUNG bc they’re kids**  
**Dab8 added Chinese Prince and 6 others to the chat**

**KIMBAP** : okay guys

 **KIMBAP** : dont really wanna get kicked by jihoon hyung so 

**KIMBAP** : GAME PLAN HAS TO BE CHANGED

 **Chinese Prince** : did you guys actually have a groupchat to discuss what to say in the chat

 **Mango** : all we discussed was to spam vines 

**LOBSTER** : LOL IMMA TELL WONWOO

 **Mango** : im here soonyoung -won

 **LOBSTER** : LOL

 **Slander** : hm does anyone have any ideas

 **Chinese Prince** : wait hansol’s here

 **Chinese Prince** : does this mean you Tricked us into thinking you were actually in trouble

 **Slander** : y3s

 **Slander** : *yes

 **Slander** : sorry its a habit i sometimes slip back into

 **BangBang** : yes hansol hyung was a Sacrifice to get yall online so we could Enlighten the Hyungs with the Vines

 **BangBang** : thanks hyung 

**Slander** : no Prob bro

 **YELLS** : how about

 **YELLS** : 2011 facebook memes

 **Dab8** : no pls

 **Dab8** : no one will think its funny AND joshua hyung might come in to send some of his memes and i might… actually die if he does

 **YELLS** : shit u rite

 **Mango** : won suggests parks and rec quotes bc he loves parks and rec

 **Chinese Prince** : ew thats so sweet of the two of you 

**Mango** : i could say the same for you and hao -wonwon 

**Slander** : wtf is a wonwon

 **Mango** : me bitch -wonwonwon

 **KIMBAP** : ANYWAY i like parks and rec too SO LETS DO IT

 **BangBang** : YAY

 

**My Family**

 

 **KIMBAP** : okay jihoon hyung

 **Stfu** : what. 

**King Han** : shiiiiiiiiiiT HE GOT THE FULL STOP OUT 

**King Han** : SHITS GOTTEN REAL MMMMMMMMMMMMMMM I LOVE DRAMA

 **Husband** : hannie…

 **King Han** : brb gonna get popcorn and watch this Unfold

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : did he actually 

**Husband** : sadly so 

**BangBang** : anyway

 **KIMBAP** : sorry for making you mad :(

 **YELLS** : yeah we werent intentionally tryna piss you off

 **Dab8** : sorry hyung ://

 **Slander** : sorry for the false alarm lol

 **Mango** : sorry for making the highly inappropriate (but highly hilarious) vine references

 **Stfu** : whatever 

**Chinese Prince** : yeah soonyoung and i feel bad too

 **LOBSTER** : :(

 **Mango** : let me just say from the bottom of my heart, 

**Mango** : my bad

 **Stfu** : …..sound fishy but okay sure

 **Stfu** : but if you guys start quoting something else 

**Stfu** : i Will snap your necks

 **KIMBAP** : HAHA okay 

**KIMBAP** : so what are you guys doing later

 **Skidaddle** : Going to the fair!

 **BangBang** : theres a fair????

 **Skidaddle** : Yeah! And I’m gonna win you a million teddy bears. 

**BangBang** : but i want a billion teddy bears

 **Skidaddle** : Now that’s a little unrealistic. 

 

**DONGSAENG + JUNHUI + SOONYOUNG HYUNG bc they’re kids**

 

 **Dab8** : okay wtf

 **Dab8** : joshua hyung has caUGHT THE FUCK ON

 **LOBSTER** : UNFORESEEABLE OUTCOME

 **Chinese Prince** : DO WE CHANGE GAME PLAN

 **Slander** : NO THIS IS REALLY FUNNY 

**Slander** : STICK TO THE PLAN AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

 

**My Family**

 

 **King Han** : what

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : im gonna paint with gyu and then take a walk around the park then hit the gym and then come home and try out a new recipe for date night and then read a book

 **Husband** : thats oddly specific

 **C00l beans C00l jeans** : If I keep my body moving and my mind occupied at all times, I will avoid falling into a bottomless pit of despair  


 **Mango** : won youre like an angel with no wings

 **Dab8** : so like a person

 **King Han** : ok uh 

**KIMBAP** : seriously what are yall doing tonight

 **Slander** : more like _Who_ am i doing ;)

 **KIMBAP** : ..

 **Slander** : no one

 **Slander** : im free 

**Slander** : whats up 

**KIMBAP** : nah i just wanted to ask 

**YELLS** : hey so i need Advice

 **LOBSTER** : yes, my love

 **Stfu** : ew

 **YELLS** : ive got an interview for idk Something later

 **YELLS** : should i wear the Purple Suit or the Yellow Suit

 **Husband** : a yellow suit ??????????? what

 **Chinese Prince** : def the purple one

 **Chinese Prince** : your skin tone suits the purple

 **King Han** : what kinda fashion taste…

 **YELLS** : for real?

 **YELLS** : hyung can i trust your opinion...

 **Chinese Prince** : you can trust my opinion because I have a lot to gain by being right and I have severe tunnel vision about achieving my goals

 **Husband** : ah 

**Husband** : im enlightened

 **KIMBAP** : does anyone wanna hang out tonight tho

 **Slander** : sure 

**Husband** : AWWWWWWWW

 **Husband** : seungkwan and hansol sittin in a tree

 **Husband** : K I S S I S S I P P I 

**King Han** : OH I KNOW 

**King Han** : YOU GUYS ARE QUOTING PARKS AND RECREATION

 **Stfu** : I SWEAR TO GOD ILL KILL ALL OF YOU 

**LOBSTER** : HYUNG 

**Dab8** : there goes our plan

 **Slander** : HOW COULD YOU JEONGHAN HYUNG

 **Mango** : IM GONNA DIE YOUNG AND A VIRGIN

 **BangBang** : ew 

**BangBang** : tmi

 **YELLS** : SHIT I BETTER R U N 

**Stfu** : YOU BETTER FUCKING RUN

 **Skidaddle** : Jeonghan! Why did you do that?

 **King Han** : BECAUSE NO ONE WANTED TO TELL ME WHAT YOU WERE DOING

 **KIMBAP** : YOU COULD HAVE JUST JOINED IN

 **King Han** : BUT THAT WOULD BE LIKE ADMITTING DEFEAT

 **Chinese Prince** : BUT HY U N G 

**King Han** : i am not a sore loser

 **King Han** : its just that I prefer to win, and when i don’t, i get furious

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry if you didnt get all my references hsfhsgfjsfyf
> 
> but in all seriousness,  
> i am not serious
> 
> i Lové parks and rec and Dead Vines and it's all i spend my time watching tbh... but i also spend my time MAKING SOONHUI TWT AUS ON TWITTER !!!!! (wow im really good at promos) which you can check out [here](https://twitter.com/djeiisaa/status/974673247890374656) ;) ANYWAY thanks again for reading and stuffs and remember you guys can always reach out to me on twt [@djeiisaa](https://twitter.com/djeiisaa)


End file.
